Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Back In The Game, Kind Of

So Jessie was here last Friday (two Friday's in a row = WINNING) and we had some drinks and had some laughs, and even some tears. We're both going through some rough shit right now, probably always will be. Fate is not too fond of us. But near the end of the night, Jessie asked me to give her a tarot reading. Regardless on what your thoughts of tarot cards are, Jessie and me actually put a fair bit of stock into them. Though I probably don't do it as much as I could. It helped to do it with another person, it brought in a whole new level of depth to have someone to discuss it with.

I did two separate ones, a full ten card spread and a basic three card spread (simple past present and future type thing) and in the big one, my "surroundings" was the 8 of swords. If you don't know anything let me tell you right now that is one bad card. That is one dark and evil card. This is the card that is probably closest to the stereotypical Death. It has no upsides and is basically entrapment, misery, and pain. This card later came up in the three card spread as my future. Basically I was trapping myself, I was containing myself, and if I didn't do something about it, I always would be.

See I've been struggling with getting over a past relationship for four years now. Lately I've told myself I'm not looking for a relationship, I don't need one. But the fact of the matter is that this self imposed loneliness is bad for me. I'm incredibly self destructive. You've probably noticed if you've been reading for more than a week. I take myself down and out at every junction, I don't trust myself, I don't know if what I do is in my best interests.

Now on to the main point of this post. At the behest of Jessie I joined a dating site. I've been alone too long really, and I should stop denying myself a chance of happiness. What better way to overcome ones fears and just jump feet first into the ocean? I don't know how successful this venture will go, but I think we can actually consider it a step in the right direction for me.

I did not, however, take her up on her request that I just message ten random girls. Though I think I'm up to that number now.

44 comments:

  1. I think this is a great idea. Time for new adventures and friendships.
    If nothing else, have fun and blog about it.
    (us old married ladies love a bit of romance)

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    1. lol I will blog about my experiences, but there aren't many to tell right now. It could be pretty good for me.

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  2. All I can say is good luck, never done this myself so I have no idea yet but you deserve some good luck.....

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    1. Thanks, it would be nice to get some good luck for once.

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  3. Well, hmmph..let me know how it goes. I always kinda thought dating sites were a scam... or at least pay ones. It seems there is a much larger pool of people to meet at free social networking sites that are free, or even on web forums. It would be nice if I was wrong though. Keep us posted on how it goes, I'm interested in hearing what kind of experience you have with it.

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    1. Well this one was free, don't worry about that. I'm not about to pay for it either.

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  4. Dude, you do tarots? Really? Awesome! Where, when, how did you pick it up? I've been wanting to give it a shot myself too, but there's a huge lack of spare time right now, and I'm kind of hesitant to go to that one new-age (or whatever you want to call it) shop we have.

    Also, best lines ever:
    "So what are we going to do for Valentine's?"
    "What we don't have a relation ship, now do we?"
    "We still got a week."

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    1. I tweeted you about the Tarot. That's some pretty good lines but nothing can top "Does this rag smell of chlorofom to you?"

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  5. Great luck to you on the web search for a significant other, or even a fwb. I, too, am of the lonely nature. Which is why I may try my hand at something similar. Let's see how many hits I get on an uber-honest listing that states "I'm not very rich, but I laugh like a millionaire".

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    1. I'd go for that. Good luck to you too if you decide to give it a shot.

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  6. What does the 8 of Swords mean?

    Also will you ever talk about that past relationship?

    Good luck on the dating site! And Jessie is right! Be pro active! Find a bunch of girls profiles and read them then send out long messages to them talking about your self and how aspects of there profile interested you! Even if you aren't really into them its good for practice! Keep me up dated as to your success!

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    1. The eight of swords specifically means (according to the booklet) "disturbance, interference, limitation, conflict, blame, resitance (I think they typo'ed resistance), problematic thoughts, mental prison, delimination of the own ideas, great mental tasks." Typically swords represent being able to cut through something, but instead of cutting, the 8 of swords imprisons. Anyway! I don't know if I'll talk about it. I've messaged about 8 or 9 girls so far, and only one of them has talked back to me.

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  7. Good luck with the dating!

    And I like the idea of tarot but I don't believe in it. Though I suppose they're not as bad as fortune tellers or "psychics" who are basically just scamming you

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    1. Thanks :) When I've done them the stuff is horribly accurate/relevant. So I suppose you could say that I've had enough experiences to make me believe it.

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  8. Well, at least you recognize the situation you're in and realize your own negative points (the self-destructiveness). First part of tackling a situation is to address it head-on, like a golf ball or somethin'.

    Dating sites are cool, but I have yet to meet a person who's actually hooked up with someone over 'em. May I throw in my two cents with the "text ten random females" idea?

    Or hit up some chick in a coffeehouse, and offer to take her...to a coffeehouse.

    Yeaaaah, coffeeshops are cool.

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    1. Coffeeshops are awesome but the only one near me is stupidly expensive. It cost me £5 for a bagel and a coffee. Feck. I've known at least one couple who met through a dating site.

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  9. Maybe I should do the same.
    Good luck!

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    1. lol thanks and good luck to you if you try it.

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  10. Four years is long enough!!! Get back out there and date. At the very least it will make for some good reading on your blog!

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    1. lol it could at least be that I guess.

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  11. Good luck on the dating sites they can be a laugh...and occasionally work out really well...but definitely blog about it

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    1. lol that seems to be the consensus.

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  12. I was married happily for 23 years when my husband died. I had no idea what the dating world was like. So I joined Match dot com and was so glad I did. It built my confidence up in myself and allowed me to meet some fun and not so fun people. It was an experience and I wasn't sitting home alone too much either. I think it's a great idea. Just do it at your pace and be honest to the others.

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    1. I still have no idea how the dating world really goes :( I'm glad it worked for you though :)

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  13. Mmm. I have nothing to say here.

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  14. I used to dabble in tarot cards, but got bored. My superpower is that I can get bored with things much faster than your average person.

    As for the dating website, good on ya bro. I use unorthodox tactics to attract the ladies, mostly my razor sharp wit and silver tongue (HA HA, Innuendo). I am a multi-faced trickster with a hundred motives behind every conversation, and usually, that piques their interest and allows me to sleaze my way into acquaintanceship. Of course, I'm a terrible closer, and it makes me feel like a piece of shit, but, hey, I can only use deception and subversion to interact with anyone, so I have to play the game my own way.

    That said, I'm going to go the parental advice route. If'n you want romance some pretty young thing, my padawan, be yourself. It can be a long, savage journey towards mt doom, but if you want to drop your ring in her volcano, it will be worth it. Any jackass can ride an eagle straight there, but a real Hobbit makes the difficult journey, because it is also one of self-discovery and self-discipline. But bear in mind one thing: one does not simply walk into Mordor. Look to my coming on the first light of the fifth day, at dawn look to the east.

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    1. I think I just had an aneurysm. What the hell. Meant what what I said however

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    2. That may be the greatest comment I ever read. I'm quite the charmer myself but due to my outward appearance most people won't give me the time of day. But still, that LOTR reference...Godly. PURE GOD!

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    3. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's metaphor. And Drinking. So two things

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  15. Good for you!! Four years is way to long Mark, you deserve to be happy and with someone who loves you. I know taking that risk is a hard one and you may get some more hurt along the way, but I feel certain that the person for you is out there, just waiting for you to find them.

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    1. Yeah let's just hope they happen to be on the same site as me :P But thank you :)

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  16. I think writing these things out is a great way for you to move on and move forward.

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  17. A dating website? I'm not sure how well they work but if it can work to your advantage good on you.

    Best of luck, I think you deserve to find someone after 4 long years.

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    1. Thanks brah. I hope it works out too.

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  18. While I have had no success with dating sites, my friends have. They've met people on PoF that they went on to have monogamous, long-lasting relationships with.
    While I have practiced the tarot since childhood, readings are something I tell people to take with a grain of salt. Our future can be changed if we are willing to change the present. I know you'll find someone just when you're meant to, which may not necessarily be when you want to.

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    1. I take them with a grain of salt yeah. It can serve as a great warning for you that you need to get going into doing something better.

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  19. when i am upset or having troubles with past relationships i always isolate myself, and after i while i just realize that does not really help. it is always some else who comes and gets me. i wish you luck with your online dating :)

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    1. Thanks. I'm like that, I like to isolate myself, but it isn't the answer.

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  20. Haha that Friday night seemed like quite an interesting one. I remember I got a BBM saying "I miss you". Hehe quite entertaining for me, no offence.

    I don't believe in that tarot stuff personally so I wouldn't believe it when it basically says you're doomed for all eternity. Or something like that.

    I have come to the conclusion that you complicate things too damn much, you should just kinda relax and let things be.
    And yay you for the dating *clap clap* I hope when you find somebody you'll send me the link to her profile or something so I can check 'em out. *nerd face*

    Tay
    x

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    1. This site only has gay and straight dating, no bi. So I'm only listed at straight. If you liked Friday then wait until V-Day on Tuesday. It's about time me and Jessie spent it together. I shouldn't really take it to heart when they say I'm going to be alone, I should take it as a sign something has to change. I do overthink things all the time though. I've talked to one person so far and nice as she is, so far it's not really hit off.

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  21. Her or his profile * (I forget)

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