Saturday, 28 January 2012

The Fourth Wall Remains Intact

Two things first, the title of the post is a reference to the fourth wall. Basically if someone breaks the fourth wall they are acknowledging and possibly even explicitly addressing the audience. I'm tired of people using it incorrectly. Though I'm willing to retract that statement if it turns out I'm wrong.

Second, as per request, and because it seems a smart thing to do, I will now start linking to all previous chapters, at least until such a time that it becomes an annoyance to do because there are so many. For now though I don't mind linking. Maybe I can just create a page and put all the links there when it gets too many. So, here are your links
Prologue:http://theramblingperson.blogspot.com/2012/01/untitled-space-story.html#en
Chapter one:http://theramblingperson.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-almost-broke-tradition.html#en
Chapter two:http://theramblingperson.blogspot.com/2012/01/chapter-two.html#en
Chapter three:http://theramblingperson.blogspot.com/2012/01/chapter-third.html#en

Third(bet you didn't see that coming) if you're following me on Twitter, I won't be tweeting today as part of the "Twitter blackout" to protest the twitter censorship, however, I will still be retweeting things I think people should know as there are people who are dedicated to the cause of spreading information enough to keep at it. I however tweet crap so there's no need for me to not do it.

Chapter four is below
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Trent noticed that Geoff had stopped, and so he stopped himself.
“B-b-but-” Geoff started.
“Not this again”, Trent interrupted, “spit it out kid”.
“But everyone dies.” Geoff said, “Don't they?” he added after a few seconds silence.
Trent shrugged and walked on. “Guess not everyone does. You saw how I was, you know nothing could survive that, believe what you want to believe.”
Geoff caught up with him and stood in front of him to stop him.
“No way, no way can you not die. There's no such thing as someone that can't die.”
“Yes there is” Trent said before pushing past him. “I'm living proof. I probably always will be too”.
Geoff caught up with him again.
“Prove it”, Geoff said. He pulled out the scalpel he had earlier, having kept it in his pocket.
Trent stopped, took the scalpel from Geoff's hand, and plunged it into his chest, where his heart was. After a few seconds of not dying despite having a scalpel in his chest, Trent pulled it out, and gave the blood covered instrument back to Geoff. Geoff stood, once again, dumbstruck. He was able to snap out of it though and once again catch up to Trent, who had continued walking again.
“So, you really can't die?” Geoff asked.
Trent sighed, “Yes, I really can't die. You know that scalpel isn't fake, and you saw how far I put it in.”
“What about if someone cut a piece of you off?”
“There was one time I lost a finger actually. I went to bed and when I woke up, it was back.”
Geoff made a shocked face,“Seriously?”
Trent once again took the scalpel, and this time cut off the tip of the little finger off of his right hand. After a brief moment of screaming in pain and an extended moment of cursing he handed the scalpel back and put the fingertip in his pocket.
“I suppose we'll find out won't we?” He said.
“Wait, you have no idea what will happen? Why did you do it?”
Trent held up his hand and looked at where part of his finger had just been.
“Well, you can always learn something new, even at my age.”
“Just how old are you anyway?”
This time Trent was the one to stop. He thought about it before answering. He'd never really thought about it.
“I actually don't really know,” was his eventual reply. “When you live as long as I have, the days just meld together you know? You lose track of these things. I'm not even sure what year it is.”
Geoff, however, didn't know. But didn't point that out. What he did point out though is that they were coming up on the Janitor's closet, and with that, the lost and found box, and with that, hopefully, some clothes for Trent. He also knew what year it was.
“By the way,” He said to Trent as he looked through the box, “it's 3020, that's what year it is.”
“Really?” Replied Trent, picking out a pair of trousers, a black shirt, and a pair of boots. I guess that makes me about one thousand and forty years old. Give or take. These clothes will do for now too thanks.”
He pushed Geoff out of the closet and shut the door before getting changed. Leaving Geoff, once again, dumbstruck.
-----------------------------------
Yes this one was a bit of a shorty but next weeks one will be a full blown epic. As per usual I'm looking forward to people pointing out where I did something wrong. I actually am, is that sad?

33 comments:

  1. I think it is coming along well.

    ReplyDelete
  2. No that's not sad. It's rather a good think actually. Constructive criticism is important for becoming a better writer. I'm not tweeting either, but I am going to pop in now. I'm curious to see how many of my friends are tweeting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes but my obsession with correct spelling and grammar can get a little sad at times. I only learned about it about four minutes before it actually started. I had seen the hashtag #J28 before but had no idea what it was.

      Delete
  3. One more thing! I'm enjoying reading the story and I think it's a good idea that you've put up the links. This is coming along nicely and I'm looking forward to the next installment.

    ReplyDelete
  4. omg. I think I need to have lots of extra time to read it all. I'll be back (hopefully) to leave some thoughts. I missed you! ^_^

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I missed you too Mai :) Good to see you back.

      Delete
  5. No it's not sad. It's cool you give such a high value to comments and critique. Nothing major to point out though. Keep going man, loving it so far.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do give a pretty high value to it yeah. I've pointed out before that if no one tells me I'm bad I'll just keep thinking I'm great when I majorly suck.

      Delete
  6. This is good writing. You just get pulled in immediately.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It helps I'm already part way through it :P

      Delete
  7. I'm glad you posted the links, it was nice to read this all in order! It's coming on really well :) I wish I could write stories this well x

    ReplyDelete
  8. thanks for the links, getting caught up now :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. The story is very intriguing. I wouldn't know where to begin as far as pointing out something "wrong" with it; I don't see anything at all wrong. Anyway, I wish someone would have told me about the twitter blackout...though all my tweets are automatic...and no one reads them anyway...so I guess I'm good!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol barely anyone reads mine either so it wouldn't have made too much of a difference.

      Delete
  10. xD But yay you, writing stuff! :D And constructive criticism is soooo useful. :) It's not sad that you're looking forward to it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was able to get a lot more writing done a few days ago which was awesome :)

      Delete
  11. Lol what Twitter blackout? I've been offline all day. What Twitter censorship?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well Twitter can and will censor tweets if a country asks them to and it will be censored by country. Anyone can read it but the people from that country will just see a message saying it had been censored. So people planned to just not tweet anything.

      Delete
  12. I really like these chapters, you're flow is really good and I like the characters. I'll make sure I catch up with the chapters I missed and sorry if my swimming post didn't help much, I'll make sure the next Zen post is more land-based :P xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not good with land either >_> lol, but thanks.

      Delete
  13. You could also create another Page link at the top for this story, like I have Dream and Video Game and Idiosyncrasy, etc.

    In this entry your sentences are showing a lot of verb tense shifting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I might have to have another look through, so much for having already rewritten it. Thanks. I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be in the present tense.

      Delete
  14. Holy cow! ITS A DEMIGOD.
    Well, the stories are coming out quite nice. You can depend on me to not pull any punches, but I don't think it's bad. Even I look around for criticism to make The Zephyrs better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Holy shit I never considered that! That makes so much more sense than how I was going to have him go. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. I hope you subscribe to comments so you can see what you've done to my head -_-. I think it's too late to change him though, if he was a demigod he'd be a lot older than 1000 years. But damn that was a cool idea.

      Delete
  15. I'm looking at the fourth wall in my room and it has a dent in it.
    THE FOURTH WALL IS NOT INTACT!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most of my walls aren't either.

      Delete
  16. love the links - really useful to get everything in the right order
    Great story as well

    ReplyDelete
  17. I hope he had money in a savings account because more than a 1,000 years of interest should be Warren Buffet level money.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It would kind of give the game away though.

      Delete

Don't forget to subscribe to comments so you know if I say something back. If you want that is.

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...