I made you wait over a week, because I'm a dick, and because I could, for this. You see, in an effort to start losing weight and being serious about it, I've decided to be serious about a website I joined four years back. Or three. It was a while ago anyway. This particular website is sparkpeople.com. They help you out with your weight loss and they even have their own huge supply of recipes. I've started to build up a little cookbook on there actually of things I think I can do, and things I would never have imagined I could do. Like making grilled chicken by coating it with instant mash potato flakes. I would seriously have never thought about that. I love cooking workarounds like that. I cook scrambled egg in a microwave, and I cook pasta and spaghetti in a frying pan. Much freaking simpler. So I thought for once I would share three recipes with you, including the now infamous tuna burgers. They are very very simple, and don't take too long at all.
Scrambled Eggs in a microwave;
What you need;
Eggs (duh), 2 or 3. I use two but you can use three for a larger serving.
Yes I'm being pedantic and condescending but dammit I'm good at it. I love it too.
What you do;
Break the eggs into the jug and stir in some milk. Remember this is going to expand, so be careful about how much milk, plus too much milk and it will be too runny. Not good. I recommend also putting in a little bit of salt, without it the taste is very bland. It took me a while to realise that I should consider putting salt in the water when cooking spaghetti to improve the taste. Or I just have bad taste buds. Mix it up a bit with a fork, being careful not to beat the eggs too much. When you've done that just put it in the microwave for a few minutes (or until something explodes) and you're done. You will have a giant block of scrambled eggs though so you might want to run the fork through it again to break it up.
Pasta/Spaghetti in a frying pan.
What you need;
a frying pan
What you do;
Fill the frying pan with cold water, not too much or you'll have to drain even more and the pan will get pretty heavy (I always always use too much water). Then you put your spaghetti or your pasta in. Turn the cooker on if you haven't already. Then just keep stirring up the pasta so it doesn't stick to anything. Keep this up for 9-12 minutes, like you would if you were boiling it, or (again) until something explodes. If you're cooking spaghetti there's a good chance that the spaghetti will not fit into the pan. In this case just get it in as best as you can, and gently press down on it while it's cooking. Eventually it will absorb enough water and be soft enough that you can swirl it and make it all stay in the pan.
Tuna burgers (yay)
What you need
A tin/can of tuna
A tin/can opener
Half a cup of breadcrumbs
Half a cup of grated cheese (optional, but I made them with cheese)
A mixing bowl
What you do;
Open your tin of tuna and drain it. I didn't drain it all the way but you can. Put it into the mixing bowl along with the breadcrumbs, cheese (if you're going to use cheese), the egg and the breadcrumbs. Mix it all up and make patties out of it. Then simply put the patties into the grill and leave for 8-10 minutes. Or fry them or whatever it is you do to cook burgers. Personally I stick mine in a grill for about 10 minutes. I did that with these though and they were a bit overcooked, so I suggest slightly less. The original recipe said that there was enough for two patties, but that guy must have been making huge ones. I used two and still had enough of the weird mix left to make probably 2 or 3 more.
Yes, I seriously suck ass at writing instructions, and no, I'm not liable if something actually explodes. Enjoy your food poisoning!
PS If you know any other cooking workarounds like the first two please let me know. I'm a lazy fucker and I'm always looking for simpler and faster ways to do things.