Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Damn Tuna Burgers

I made you wait over a week, because I'm a dick, and because I could, for this. You see, in an effort to start losing weight and being serious about it, I've decided to be serious about a website I joined four years back. Or three. It was a while ago anyway. This particular website is sparkpeople.com. They help you out with your weight loss and they even have their own huge supply of recipes. I've started to build up a little cookbook on there actually of things I think I can do, and things I would never have imagined I could do. Like making grilled chicken by coating it with instant mash potato flakes. I would seriously have never thought about that. I love cooking workarounds like that. I cook scrambled egg in a microwave, and I cook pasta and spaghetti in a frying pan. Much freaking simpler. So I thought for once I would share three recipes with you, including the now infamous tuna burgers. They are very very simple, and don't take too long at all.

Scrambled Eggs in a microwave;
What you need;
Eggs (duh), 2 or 3. I use two but you can use three for a larger serving.
Milk
A jug
A microwave
Consider salt
Yes I'm being pedantic and condescending but dammit I'm good at it. I love it too.

Anyway

What you do;
Break the eggs into the jug and stir in some milk. Remember this is going to expand, so be careful about how much milk, plus too much milk and it will be too runny. Not good. I recommend also putting in a little bit of salt, without it the taste is very bland. It took me a while to realise that I should consider putting salt in the water when cooking spaghetti to improve the taste. Or I just have bad taste buds. Mix it up a bit with a fork, being careful not to beat the eggs too much. When you've done that just put it in the microwave for a few minutes (or until something explodes) and you're done. You will have a giant block of scrambled eggs though so you might want to run the fork through it again to break it up.

Pasta/Spaghetti in a frying pan.
What you need;
Spaghetti/pasta
water
a frying pan
a cooker
Salt
What you do;

Fill the frying pan with cold water, not too much or you'll have to drain even more and the pan will get pretty heavy (I always always use too much water). Then you put your spaghetti or your pasta in. Turn the cooker on if you haven't already. Then just keep stirring up the pasta so it doesn't stick to anything. Keep this up for 9-12 minutes, like you would if you were boiling it, or (again) until something explodes. If you're cooking spaghetti there's a good chance that the spaghetti will not fit into the pan. In this case just get it in as best as you can, and gently press down on it while it's cooking. Eventually it will absorb enough water and be soft enough that you can swirl it and make it all stay in the pan.

Tuna burgers (yay)
What you need
A tin/can of tuna
A tin/can opener
An egg
Half a cup of breadcrumbs
Half a cup of grated cheese (optional, but I made them with cheese)
A mixing bowl
A grill

What you do;
Open your tin of tuna and drain it. I didn't drain it all the way but you can. Put it into the mixing bowl along with the breadcrumbs, cheese (if you're going to use cheese), the egg and the breadcrumbs. Mix it all up and make patties out of it. Then simply put the patties into the grill and leave for 8-10 minutes. Or fry them or whatever it is you do to cook burgers. Personally I stick mine in a grill for about 10 minutes. I did that with these though and they were a bit overcooked, so I suggest slightly less. The original recipe said that there was enough for two patties, but that guy must have been making huge ones. I used two and still had enough of the weird mix left to make probably 2 or 3 more.

Yes, I seriously suck ass at writing instructions, and no, I'm not liable if something actually explodes. Enjoy your food poisoning!

PS If you know any other cooking workarounds like the first two please let me know. I'm a lazy fucker and I'm always looking for simpler and faster ways to do things.

67 comments:

  1. It's ok I understand, I used to be a chef....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's something I don't think I could even dream of.

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  2. Sorry i dont like tuna :(
    Waiting for interesing meat version :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not liking tuna should be a mortal sin.

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  3. Replies
    1. I refer you to the comment above.

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  4. Sounds pretty tempting, considering I can afford food again I might try it out next time I go shopping.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well eggs aren't too expensive, but I guess tuna can be. Pasta shouldn't be though.

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  5. I might just try the tuna burger (I'm sick of the same old tuna sandwhiches)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's actually quite nice, and certainly a bit of a variation.

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  6. I just recently started making my pasta in a frying pan. Works much better. The secret is the cold water...helps the pasta from sticking.

    I used to nuke my eggs as a kid but I prefer the traditional method.

    And I don't think I will be trying the tuna patties...just sounds very unappealing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah yes the cold water plays a very big part. It's way simpler.

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  7. I didn't know you could scramble eggs in a microwave. I put pepper in my eggs and I cook them with bacon grease (I know, I know). Actually you do a great job at writing out the instructions. Based on what you've got written here, I could make these dishes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bacon infused eggs? Sweet momma take me now. I just cut the middle man and have my eggs with bacon. I might have bacon and eggs for my dinner now actually.

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  8. I would be hesitant to cook eggs in a mircrowave for fear of not heating them up enough to kill any salmonella that might be present in them.

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  9. Tuna=yum. Burgers=yum.

    Tuna burgers....I must try them. I'll let you know if they are 'yum'.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I like tuna. I *love* burgers. But the thought of a tuna burger doesn't sound too appetizing to me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's more appealing than it sounds.

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  11. Okay.. "until something explodes." I'll bear that in mind. lol. :p

    I wanna lose some weight, too. I'm 143 lbs. and target weight is 121 lbs. I think I'm gonna try the scrambled eggs and the tuna burger.. Yay!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol well be careful with eggs, they're way too fattening for something so delicious -_-. 22 pounds isn't so hard, I'm going for way more.

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    2. Well then, Yey for tuna burgers! c",)

      Already tried the recipe this morning.. Tastes great. I made 3 patties. hihi..

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  12. Sounds like a great site! I need it after the holidays.

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  13. tuna.... on a burger??! What am I? A goddamn animal?....
    Well, theoretically yes but.. you know, its just a phrase people keep saying.
    nah, just joking but im not a fan of fish. Give me meat and im happy ^^

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But tuna isn't fish. It's godly.

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  14. Don't forget to exercise. Being thin ain't the point, gotta be FIT. (O_O)-b

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't worry, they have an exercise plan too. I now do at least 90 minutes of exercise a week, split across three days. The two have to go hand in hand.

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  15. I wish I could be a chef like Lurker was...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too. It would make everything so much easier.

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  16. I am following you just for the tuna burgers, I'm going to go home and try some of that goodness.

    Great blog, following you!

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  17. And now I'm hungry. Damn :-(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well now you have some things to choose from to eat.

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  18. Damn that sounds good haha

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  19. Does it cost very much per meal?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Depends where you shop I guess, but you can get several burgers out of the tuna mix.

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  20. I'm going to prepare this today. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  21. The tuna burgers actually sound really good, think imma try it sometime (have to buy tuna first). Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They're worth it, especially if cooked right.

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  22. if I wasn't such a lazy bastard I probably would have tried making it. But since I'm lazy as fuck, ehh can't be bothered. Sounds good though :-)

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    Replies
    1. It doesn't take much effort. I commend your laziness really.

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  23. I'm useless at weight loss...too much french style cooking with butter cream and wine....especially wine

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That does sound delicious. This makes it worth it.

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  24. I used to use Spark People, the website was brilliant. This recipe sounds delicious by the way, I'll try these soon! xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So far I have to agree they're brilliant because so far it is working :)

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  25. I don't like eggs or tuna :P

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  26. Yum! I'm a huge tuna fan. I'll have to try out this recipe, thanks very much for sharing :)

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  27. I like the sound of the tuna burgers. I'll try them next time I stay somewhere that has a kitchen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well a kitchen is a must really.

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  28. My family and I are trying out a vegan diet because my Dad has high cholesterol despite the fact that he works out 2 hours a day. It's bullshit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well if you get vegan friendly pasta you can try this stuff.

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  29. My girlfriend cooks eggs that way. I'm trying to unteach her.

    Also, do you remember the microwave brownies I made a few weeks ago? Those literally only take like 5 minutes at most.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nothing wrong with this method really as long as things don't explode. I made those brownies once, it went so bad I didn't want to try again.

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  30. im gonna try tuna burgers! sounds yummy with the cheese. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It does add a little extra flavour :)

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  31. Eggs in the microwave? I don't know..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Remember, it's all safe until something blows up.

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  32. Can't wait to make some tuna burgers and give them a try :D I love tuna so i'm expecting good things! As to the scrambled egg.. my mum has made them in a microwave for as long as I can remember. I made them in uni for lunch the other day and the other two in the kitchen looked utterly bewildered..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol well now they know the greatness of microwaved scrambled eggs.

      Delete

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