Monday, 3 October 2011

Deep Ass Poetry Filled With Metaphors And All That Good Stuff

The title for this post comes from just what the challenge from Fang was, which was to write "Deep-ass poetry with metaphors and all that good stuff" so this is something I wrote at 2 in the morning. Otherwise known as my creative time because my brain is fried and wandering. Sadly this isn't the original poem I came up with, I was just laid there in bed and thought a great one, but when I tried to write it down, it had already disappeared from my head. That sucks. Anyway, here's something I threw together. Remember, I wrote it at TWO AM. I make no claims of quality, and it follows a very simple rhyming pattern until the end where it just abandons it altogether. I'm also not going to claim this is actually a poem. Ha even when all I'm doing is posting a poem I can extend the post massively.

I can burn brighter than the sun
Or be as cold and dark as the moon
But the time when life is done
Will always come too soon

Until that time though
Who will I be
Where will I go
What will I see

Who will I meet
Shall I ever take a bride
Will I be able to defeat
The demons inside

Will I take the chance
Or let it pass me by
Will I fall upon my own lance
Or will I begin to fly

Like the boundless sea
Will my emotions rage
Or will I keep them locked inside me
Like a bird wishing to be free of it's cage?

Life isn't long enough
To think of things like this
Life is for living
So go out
And live!

So there you have it. There are so many questions in it that I didn't bother with punctuation. Please be gentle with me over this lol. We're always our own worst critic.


  1. Punctuation is the enemy of poetry, don't you know, fellow poet bro?
    Very inspiring message behind the poem.
    Do you really own a lance? or were you talking about your penis?

  2. @A Lunatic Pope It is the enemy of poetry, but I think I've talked about my love of grammar enough lol. I sadly do not own a real lance, yet, but I wasn't talking about my penis either.

  3. I think we should start a collection to buy you a lance, although then you might get greedy and want a horse too...

  4. Ps. Have just seen the advert at the bottom of your page " mature online dating" I think your adsense has been reading my blog.
    How bizarre

  5. I actually really liked it, you should be proud of it! :)

  6. @The Angry Lurker Thanks ^^

    @Dirtycowgirl For me it says get your poetry published, but I'm not allowed to click on my own ads. I'm slightly scared that the mature online dating came from "deep-ass" I really am. As for the horse, we can share it, but the lance is all mine, women can't joust. No matter what the feel good movies tell you.

    @Hazel Thank you :)

  7. That actually sounds like a very emo song :)

  8. @Cricketfreak I think it had a non-emo ending, and it's far far from the emo-ness of another poem I was going to post but then didn't.

  9. I really like the Poem. Really. Not just saying that.

  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

  11. I'm telling you, I suck with reading poems and worst, understanding it's message. hahahahaha!

  12. @Mai Yang The simple message is to stop wondering and thinking so much about what's going to happen in life and start living it :)

  13. This is actually a great poem. Your next project? Get a beat going, and record yourself rapping this. Who doesn't need a little street cred, right?

  14. @A Beer For The Shower I'm tempted, I really am, but I don't go out on the streets much, cred there won't really do anything for me.

  15. Screw your poetry, I ain't reading all that. Already had a poetry exam at school today, more than enough for the coming few months.

  16. That's far less crappy then my attempts at poetry!

    The only thing I don't like is the rhymes. It sounds a bit forced.

  17. It was ok, I'm not really into poetry

  18. I applaud you for your very Yogi-esque style of writing. Hey, it ain't over 'til it's over.

  19. @Fang But I wrote it for you :( I'm not sure I love you anymore.

    @Pieter Aye it does a bit, but I am one of those ill-informed "It's not poetry unless it rhymes" people. I just can't write non-rhyming poetry.

    @Bob It's comments like that that got adult dating websites showing up in the adverts >_>

    @Copyboy Thank you :) I've not totally got the compliment but I'll take it.

  20. Your poem is so awesome with awesomeness if there is such thing lol.
    "Who will I meet
    Shall I ever take a bride
    Will I be able to defeat
    The demons inside"
    Reminded me of my boyfriend back then, he wrote something like this lines too.
    I agree, that when you create something in your mind and not put it in words immediately, you tend to forget the original one which is supposed to be more awesome. Your poem is already great, how great could have been the original one.

  21. 2deep4me

    What did you think of HaiC?

  22. Its good, it flowed well stayed on topic and had a good pace to it. I liked it! The subject matter was my favorite aspect of it! Everyone can relate to it!
    If I was your poetry teacher and I asked you to write a poem and you handed this in I'd give you an A+!

  23. @Maybe You "Best shit" was what I was aiming for lol.

    @Yen Boys tend to think alike, but I tend not to think like boys. The original was way cooler lol, I was proud of it, and we all know how unproud of my work I am.

    @Shaw 2deep4erry1 HIAC was alright, it was better than I was expecting, and it was something that they haven't been in some time, unpredictable. Except for the Sin Cara match, it was quite obvious Sin Cara was going to win. I agree with a comment I read as well, that it's a shame no one really cares Alberto is WWE champ. At first no one cared because of Triple H and CM Punk and everything, and now no one cares because of Miz and R-Truth. Plus it was nice to see Beth win, it was the first time I've watched a Diva's match in ages.

    @My 2 Pesos I'm a lot of things, poet, the president of the gay and lesbian alliance, a communist, but I am NOT a porn star.

    @Bersercules lol thanks, really :) My English teachers never really liked me because I was never any good at creative writing. Hard to believe huh?

  24. Yeah, I never thought about that - deep ass - but you may well be right.
    If I was you I'd be keeping an eye on the search keywords too.

    I'll stick with Doris - she's the only horse that doesn't scare me.

  25. @Dirtycowgirl I've checked my search terms, it took ages for people to start using it, and now people are only using it to find God. But it's been a while since I checked.

  26. Look for inspiration while taking a crap. The almighty throne of inspiration never disappoints me.

  27. Mark: Adult dating sites are popular, so maybe that's a good thing.
    Don't be such a penetrated vagina (does that mean something? Not sure, just want to increase your profit:)) about it. :P

  28. @Bob yes that's why it's such a shame I try to stick to PG material :P

  29. It's your blog. You can have your own definition of what PG material is.

  30. @Bob Holy fuck cunt you're right!

  31. really deep stuff!

    i returned again after a long time so make sure to check out my blog again.

    Here´s the link: !!

  32. yes live this life, we have no second chance. :D

  33. @Trish I'm going to dispute that we only get one chance, but we do get one chance at THIS life. Which could actually be what you said :)

  34. i have to come to this site more often. All i wanted to say after reading this post has already been said....
    Damn you, other people! ;)

  35. @Mekkor Hehe just come back every Saturday for the weekly round up and you'll be fine :)

  36. this sounds like my next song. "own demons". haha keep it up mark! it's negative but w/e haha

  37. @Dilord it is kinda negative at first yeah, but I think the ending sorts it out.

  38. I actually really like it. It's clear and straightforward and also it really kind of reminds me of the songs in the Disney Classics. I love those. I think it just kind of summarizes the questions everyone has at one point in their lives. :'D.

    1. Well thank you very much ^^ I actually forgot I wrote this. It's not bad at all, looking back at it. I ask these questions at a lot of points in my life.


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