Thursday, 22 September 2011

Pros And Cons Of An Italian Plumber

So it turns out I only had to put it off for a day lol, so enjoy this Mario post you should have been reading yesterday. Before I do start this, I want to say that you shouldn't take this post totally seriously, it's part joke, part slightly serious. Okay then, let's see what I can do. Also most of this is of my own devising.

Pros:
1. It teaches chivalry.
Mario has the biggest blue balls in history
Mario essentially goes from world to world, castle to castle, in an attempt to save the Princess Peach. Also known as Princess Toadstool or whatever the hell they were calling her that day. When he finds out she's not in that castle, he just moves on to another and takes down anything in his way. In the cartoons as well the main thing he did seemed to be saving Peach. Plus he doesn't ever seem to get lucky with her, so it's not like he's doing it just to get into her pants.

Or maybe he is. It's not shown in the games at least. But the less said about "fan-art" and fanfiction the better really.

2. It teaches you to eat healthy
Now in Minecraft form!
This game teaches you that essentially, all you need to do grow big and strong is eat mushrooms. Lets not forget that mushrooms also give you extra lives, and that to throw fire you need a flower. Eating mushrooms on Mario extends your current life, and gives you extra ones. There are people that like to make a connection to Mario eating magic mushrooms and being high a lot, but those people need to stop looking to much into things. Wait what? That's pretty much what I'm doing here right?


3. It has dinosaurs
People seem to think this is actually a dragon
Dinosaurs make anything cool. Anything. If he's actually a dragon, that's just as awesome, if not more so.

Cons:

1: Mario is a secret Communist (though actually I don't mind communism, I think it's just misunderstood, maybe I'll post about that sometime)

People actually believe this stuff
There are people who say that Mario is a secret communist. I don't know if they were being serious, I really hope they weren't, but I did once read something about this. Apprantly Mario bears a resemblance to Stalin. If you don't know who Stalin is, I'm not going to tell you. He also wears a lot of red. He fights against an established King (King Koopa) and does everything in his power to overthrow him, and replace him with the people, in Princess Peach. At the end of the early game levels he also tears down a peace flag, and replaces it with the red star of Russia. Or so people claim. Is Mario a secret communist? I don't know. Is he trying to subliminally recruit people to the communist regime? Not very likely.

2. He tried to brainwash kids, but not for communism.
I think there's a dirty joke in here somewhere
I don't know if he actually did try to get kids to clean up graffiti with the game Super Mario Sunshine, but again, it is something that people have said. But hey, people will say anything. The main point of this game is that there is an evil Mario called Shadow Mario who spray painted graffiti all over an island, and Mario got blamed for it. He was then ordered  to clean up the mess while (surprise surprise) saving Peach from Shadow Mario. I bet he used the water for a cold shower.

3. He's not Hasidic as well as a plumber
He also doesn't have a beard like the Hasidic Plumber, but he does have  a moustache


I think that's it actually, at least for now. Mario is an awesome game series though, that's for sure! Even if he is a communist, he's awesome enough to make up for it. His only major downside is all the "gimmick" games, but the same can be said of any series going on that long, such as Sonic. I do love Sonic, and I'll probably talk about him some time. 

50 comments:

  1. Oh Mario, how we love his errm.. "adventures". Regarding your second con, the flag he uses even though he never tears a flag but I think he puts one up when he jumps on a flag pole. Pointless but I thought i'd just say he puts one up. :P

    Not complaining, to be honest Mario is still a beloved Mascot of Nintendo communist or not. Might aswell say Sonic is a communist due to 'Sonic Says' segment of 'The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog' if it isn't on the same level as what Mario has displayed (Hehe kids going inside a washing machines..) but I disregard that show ever existing being a big Sonic fan (growing up with Sonic on the Dreamcast and PC before seeing Mario on the Gamecube), I feel it insults what it is based on, same goes with the 'Super Mario Super Show' regarding Mario.

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  2. I love the Mario game.. Grew up with it, actually. Gosh, I'm old. lol..

    I agree with the pros.. Mario teaches chivalry, always ready to do anything to rescue the princess. And yep, teaches you to eat healthy, as well. Princes needs to have a healthy mind and body to defeat dragons. :p Oh, and Mario teaches us perseverance, too.. and determination. The determined Mario always gets the girl. :p

    As to Mario being a communist.. Oh, good thing I know who Stalin is. Joseph Stalin, right? lol. hmm.. I don't think that Mario's a secret communist. Hm.. not really.

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  3. I'm more of a Sonic fan than Mario!

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  4. @Mysterious Reaper I love the original Sonic series, I think they were alright really, the Sonic Says stuff can make you laugh sometimes to, usually with pity that something like this actually happened.

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  5. @Leah One of the first games I ever played was Super Mario 3 on the NES ^^ I loved that game. He does teach all that too :) He just keeps on going through hell or low tide to get her.

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  6. @Hazel I think I'm split between them, I doubt I could choose, but if I absolutely had to, I'd pick Sonic. He was the reason my favourite colour was blue lol.

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  7. I am a child of the 80's and Super Mario Bros was my first video game on the NES. Fun fact: did you know that Mario is actually in the process of dying on the cover of the game?

    http://chzmemebase.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/memes-cannot-unsee-mario-box-art.jpg

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  8. this is so 90's or something but this is the kind of game I will never get tired playing :)

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  9. @Mai Yang The 90's were a good time to be alive if you were young and carefree :P

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  10. @A Beer for the Shower Cannot unsee! Although I think I have seen that before, it's kind of messed up. Poor Mario just can't catch a break.

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  11. man I was so excited the day I bought Mario 2 at K-Bee toy store I couldn't wait to get home and play it.

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  12. Dirty jokes are my kind of thing. I high-five you for mentioning the possibility of making a dirty joke.

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  13. I only have been able to play the old Super Mario and one on GBA. now I don't even feel the thrill of playing it anymore :/.

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  14. If only life were like the Super Mario Bros.

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  15. Ok, super mario world (and mario kart) for super nintendo is one of my favorite games ever. With that being said, im glad you added the part that he's not hasidic. He also has been stealing quite a bit of my clientele. If i end up living on the streets, you can thank him.

    Also im very jealous of him because he owns a dinosaur and i don't :/

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  16. need to recover my supermario bros !

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  17. Mario Brothers is probably my favorite video game. I haven't played it in a long, long while.

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  18. Kudos to you for killing an innocent game I loved so much. What's next? Puff the Magic Dragon? Tell me that's linked to drugs.

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  19. @Copyboy Awwwwwww it wasn't my intent to destroy it. Puff the magic dragon is actually not related to drugs at all, people just think it is. There, I saved something.

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  20. Mario is my favorite commie, I'm glad someone else is getting that point out there

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  21. You had me at he's not a Jew. Kidding, I kid.

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  22. Mario Sunshine was one of the best games I ever played. So fun.

    In other news, I'm waiting to see what the other four things are.

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  23. @Henry Sadly you could be waiting for some time my friend. I have something amazingly super fantastic prepared for next week (more details Saturday) after that I'll go back to those. Or I'll just go back to those if next week turns into a failure lol.

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  24. Good post I enjoyed it!

    But now (for fun) I'm gonna con your pros and pro your cons!

    Your pros that should be cons:

    One, teaches girls they need rescuing.

    Two, teaches kids to eat mushrooms they find on the ground.

    Three, teaches people dinos and humans lived together on earth.

    Your cons that should be pros:

    One, teaches kids how much Capitalism and Communism are the same, both have men trying to collect as many coins as they can!

    Two, taking responsability for your evil side.

    Three, its good hes not Hasidic like the Hasidic Plumber! Diversity rules!

    So thats my take on that!

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  25. @Bersercules Your flawless logic has defeated me :(

    Except for the thing about dinos and humans living on Earth together. I want that to be true. Who wouldn't want a pet raptor?

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  26. I always preferred Luigi. Go for the underdog!

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  27. @DWei Luigi is not the underdog, he's taller and thinner than Mario. If anything he only fails because he's not as brave as Mario.

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  28. Italian Plumber > Fast Hedgehog > Hasidic Plumber

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  29. Never played Mario.
    I tried it some time ago, but couldn't get into it too much. :/

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  30. I was trying Super Mario Bros. 3

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  31. @Bob Here is our target, we must lay waste to him and all that he loves. Kidding, really, each to their own. There are people that don't like Zelda, or Sonic. Super Mario 64 is a great game though. Mario Bros. 3 is cool until someone tells you that it's a theatre show and Mario was never in any real danger, and you are simply the audience.

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  32. @Mark about you wanting a higher resolution version of the unicorn picture, I deffinitly have a copy so if you want me to send you one just tell me your email!

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  33. @Bersercules AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEESOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Just send it to the email on the contact page, I'll get it. I want to frame it.

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  34. @Mark I just re checked the Plumbers page and now the pictures are showing up in big format when clicked on!

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  35. @Bersercules I'm so happy I won't leave a half sarcastic comment.

    Wait maybe that counted as one.

    yay though!

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  36. LOLOLOL I've actually never played Mario! Haha! xD

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  37. you forgot one thing, italian plumbers have an education that let em excel on every single sport there is

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  38. I'm not sure if there was anyone who said this yet, but Nintendo's New York Landlord was a portly italian dude with a mustache, and they named the character in his honor.

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  39. lol. He really does look like a long lost relative of Stalin.

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  40. I'm pretty sure that Hasidic Plumber is doing all sorts of adventure right now, but instead of saving the princess he's probably just stalking a raccoon or something.

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  41. @Lord Phrozen Lets not forget Mario actually HAS a Raccoon suit.

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  42. No.3 in the pros list does it for me(I always thought mario was running around to get into peach's pants)

    Mario is trying to replace a king with the people... i.e princess peach?

    Finally! I always wanted to be a pink princess.

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  43. hahaha i'm playing this right now. never get tired of mario

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  44. If you were to do a piece on communisim that would be great! I always like to read something written by somebody who knows how to get a point across! and if you could explain the communist mario that would be cool too!

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  45. @Aldrey I don't think I really know enough about communism to make a real comment on it. I just like the idea of everyone is in it together and does their fair share of the work. As for communist Mario, there's not much more to be said about that :)

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