Me and a friend were talking about mistakes, and she asked me what some of mine were, and well, there are too many to name really. So expect depression all around as we look into what are some of my mistakes. I'll have to stick a song at the end or something to stop people killing themselves after reading this.
I have made a lot of mistakes. I don't like to make promises I can't keep, and the main way I came up with that idea, was to make promises I didn't keep. I even promised to wait for a girl once, and then I found myself going with another girl. Needless to say it almost destroyed our relationship. It did for a while actually, but she came to forgive me, though she did make it clear that there would never be anything between us.
It actually gets kind of worse too. The girl I did get with, things didn't go well, she was insisting to me that I break it between us, because she just couldn't be committed, she couldn't confine herself to just one guy. And me, being the idiot that I am, refused to let her go. I don't like being alone. I don't know how I've managed it for as long as I have now, though Jesse says that she misses the days I had a new girl every week lol. I'm on pretty decent terms with both girls now, but I almost lost a good friend, for a girl who didn't want me to stay with her, or did but couldn't allow herself to. I also almost lost another good friend of mine over her, because she wouldn't talk to me because I refused to end a doomed relationship because I didn't want to be alone.
Girls are going to be a recurring theme here. I'm a very "beta" male. I get attached easy, and get taken away with difficulty. I've wasted my time with girls who choose someone else over me, three times actually, you'd think I would have learnt after the first time, after what that did to me, but, nah, I didn't. The first time was with my first girlfriend, Luci, but I really don't regret what happened with her, or I'd like to say that. For a few months I was incredibly happy, I was loved, I had friends, and I was in a very good frame of mind. Sure, it was destroyed, but I can't deny that it happened. No matter how much she hurt me, or what happened after, I'm happy that it happened.
That's the general lesson I want to teach with this post. Mistakes are a necessary, and big, part of life. Some mistakes shouldn't be made sure, but if they are made, then make sure that you learn from them. Make sure that you don't repeat them. There are a lot of mistakes to make, and most of them are actually fun to make. I also recommend trying to avoid waking up next to one. It feels good to say that I'm glad what happened with me and Luci happened. Before everything went bad, I hadn't been that happy since my school days with Jesse. After school we just kind of drifted apart, and didn't get back together for 2 years. Before me and Luci broke up actually we had considered our future, we were both putting our lives on hold for eachother, so I think really one of the biggest mistakes I've made is that I'm still putting my life on hold, I'm still not growing, not changing. I have a good personality sure, I like to think I know how to treat a woman, and I'm a "nice guy", but I have a very flawed body. You can say looks don't matter, but when your looks are destroying your spirit and shattering your confidence, they sure as hell do. I'm working on it, but it's a slow arduous process that seems to be getting scuffed at every turn.
Anyway, I promised some kick ass music to make up for all the baww crap I just posted, so here it is.
Whether you love or hate wrestling, you have to admit, some of those songs are awesome. Remember the lessons that I tried to share here, enjoy the music, and I shall see you all again tomorrow.