Monday, 4 July 2011

Bullying

This ones coming from the heart, and might get depressing, I seriously advise not reading it lol. But anyway, here goes:

I was at a volunteer conference today for work and one of the workshops we did was about bullying. I myself was bullied quite a lot during my school years, and let me tell you folks, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" is absolute bollocks, as anyone who's ever had to say it will tell you. Those days were quite some time ago, but the scars from them still hurt, the emotional ones, as I was never actually physically beaten, I really do believe that emotional, mental abuse, stays with you a lot more than physical ones. During my second year of secondary school, I'm not sure what that is in America, but I was roughly 12, or 13 at the time, I asked to be sent home sick so many times they actually told me they wouldn't send me home anymore unless I was physically sick, or fainted, or what not.

One of the women from the shop I work at actually told me that her daughter was subject to some serious cyber bullying. One of her "friends" who she is still friends with, mostly out of fear we presume, got onto her Facebook account, and sent scathing hateful messages to all her Facebook friends, this girl, ended up getting death threats back, and the police were involved in the end. I'm not sure how things are for her now, I just know they are still a bit rough, but hopefully her real friends forgave her once they learned it wasn't her that did it.

I was bullied mostly for my appearance, I love long hair, I think it's the only hair that looks good on me, and I looked a lot like a girl, I was also always around my best friend, who happened to be a guy, so I was called gay a lot. I was also called Meatloaf a lot, because I really did look like he did in the 80's. Let me tell you, as much as I love Meatloaf, and even though it sounds like it wasn't really much, everything that happened to me cut so deep I really do still have trouble today. I can't make friends, I don't trust anyone, and I keep so much distance between me and other people that it's hard to believe sometimes I can relax and laugh with them, but I can turn just as quick. I've gotten really good at hiding my problems, but they're still there.

I even went through some things I can't talk about here, as I know occasionally people I know, and my sister, check this blog out once in a blue moon, but even if they did, I wouldn't talk about it. Suffice to say I'm a real messed up person at times.

As well as being called gay a lot, when I had my first girlfriend, I looked more like a girl than she did sometimes lol, and we were called lesbians a lot. I really can't win, if I'm walking around with a guy, we're gay, if I'm walking around with a girl, we're lesbians. Maybe that's why I made some of the choices I made lol.

I know for a fact if it weren't for my best friend, I would have been either dead, or in prison by now. It really helps having someone, especially if they're going through that stuff too, we helped eachother get through it, and we're still best friends to this day even though we were seperated for two years. He's one really cool guy.

In short, I can't tolerate bullying, at all, and the scars from it will stay with you for years, for some people they even last into old age. I'll try to fit some more fun into my next post, this has been seriously depressing lol, but hey, I'm posting at least :)

I realise it's mostly older people who read my blog, but I also know some parents do too. If you get bullied, then please, let someone know, make some friends, don't give up on humanity like I did, trust me, you don't want to end up like me. Remember parents, kids don't like talking about it, but they do find writing a lot easier, so maybe encourage them to write about it, either way, let them come out in their own time, and be there for them when they do :) All they want is to know someone still loves them and cares for them.

2 comments:

  1. Loved to read this text, really. Shows how this really hurted you in the past and it still affects the way you interact with the rest of the world.

    I myself was object of this psychological bullying, it was when I still was little child and it totally changed the way I behave towards people and so on.

    For me the only way to come over this problem was to confront it, without any help, beat the shit out of them and when they fall down... finish them. Might sound hard but it's the only way, some people doesn't deserve anything else.

    Cheers +followd

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nice written text, I like it.
    I have the same opinion like you, and have a nice day!

    ReplyDelete

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