In the story of Cain and Abel, Cain's motive for killing Abel was that God preferred Abel's offering of Sheep to Cains offering of vegetables.
Seeing as people say God hates gays because one of Jesus' disciples said it while he was in a questionable state of mind, is it not time that people admitted that God in fact, hates vegetables. This new E. Coli strain was God's way of punishing our wicked ways of not embracing meat enough, and being too vegetarian. He's very very disappointed.
Ahhhh nothing beats making your Christian dad piss himself in the middle of a café with jokes about God and the Bible.
Hmmm, wonder how much backlash I'm going to get from making a joke about E. Coli. Well, I really doubt too many people are going to read this, and the few that do are probably going to know I say a lot of crazy and often inappropriate stuff. Since people already view me like that, it's fine for me to do it. It's how Jeremy Clarkson gets away with so much at least.