Saturday, 31 December 2011

Picturing The Post

Well this could be one of the last picture posts for a while because of what I was on about yesterday, I would like to put a story up here. As such I'm going to try and go out with a bang. So let's see what we can find in my huge pile of pictures.
What a day to be a man.

The ultimate showdown. McDonalds Sephiroth versus Colonel Sanders Cloud.

Seriously, WHY vote for the lesser evil? At least he's honest about wanting to kill and eat your family

My kinda kid.

I know you're trying it because I tried it.

Yes Neil Patrick Harris. Yes I do.

I'm behind Darth Vader, are you?

Jessie told me this became her computer background.


Just a pretty background really.
And a special treat for Fang. Welcome to the club, I hope you already have a girlfriend because you aren't likely to get one now! It's a .gif, I don't know if it will play itself. It didn't in a preview, you might have to right click and open in a new tab.

Party Soft.

Friday, 30 December 2011

Time For A Story

First off, I really hate to bring it up, I really do, but I was self-deprecating again. I don't mean to do it so much, I'm just not used to being good at something, and having people enjoy what I do. When you've been depressed for a majority of your life, and think you suck at everything before even trying, it's hard to break that cycle. This is NOT an apology, this is an explanation. Hopefully I'll cut back on the apologies.

I mentioned before that I finally wrote some more in my first major book but what you might not know, or probably won't know, is that I also started working on another book. I know it's probably stupid to work on two books at once, but I'm thinking this is just going to me more of a novella anyway, plus it lowers burning out on my first book. If I feel worn out by my first book I just write some more in my other one. Anyway, I actually thanks to two people for this book. Though sadly I cannot thank one of them just yet, because if I did it would ruin a major plot point. I WILL GIVE NO SPOILERS! Though I suppose if it became a published work I'd probably have to include it in the blurb -_- If I ever do release something, that's what I'll have the most trouble with. The blurb. You have to give some secrets away to get people hooked and wanting to read.

I also owe thanks to R.gers, who gave me the idea to make it sci-fi. I was asking for ideas on short stories and he told me that I should consider Sci-fi. I love the genre too and I hope to make it work.

I suppose I also need to give a supplemental shout to to Kbbuddingwriter, who gave me the third and final idea. Or at least who I'm crediting for it. Kb runs a story every week. I also actually plan to do the same with this for as long as I can. On Saturdays, starting from NEXT Saturday (expect usual lolsy pictures tomorrow) I will be putting up bits from this story. It is my hope that by doing this, I will be able to stay on top of it, and make sure I get it written. I don't know how long it will last, but when I am done, I would love to be able to compile it all, and publish it as an ebook. Though part of me wants to make my original book, well, my original book.

I wonder if I'll have to class this book as a collaboration effort between me and all my readers, let's face it if I change anything based on your criticism, you will be part of it.

In case you're wondering I already have four chapters down, so I have some time to think more and write more before it becomes "OH GOD IT'S NEARLY SATURDAY AND I HAVEN'T WRITTEN ANYTHING YET OH GOD OH GOD NO"

Thursday, 29 December 2011

This Much Fun Is Illegal In 48 States

First of all, a half hearted apology in which I don't actually go through with the apology, never mind caring enough to actually apologise. I would say I'm sorry for mentioning Jessie yet again, but to be honest I'm not. I just hope she doesn't mind all the attention, but if she didn't mind that I was in her cupboard I doubt she'll mind this.

Warning; serious emotional discharge ahead, get out, get out while you can.

As you might have noticed, since she's started blogging I've been more light hearted myself. Even my more depressing posts have a lighter undertone and occasional attempt at a joke, maybe even a few actual jokes. This is partly in thanks to her blogging, which is why I felt compelled to mention her yet again.

I don't think it's any big secret that I've not been having too much fun writing lately, my blog has suffered for it, and so has my offline writing. When I have fun I can be a pretty cool guy to be around, I'm just totally depressed at times. Most of the time. Quite a lot of the time actually. But blogging is getting more fun now that she's blogging too, and we can actually chat about it, and I can help her out with some things, and learn more about her. We've been best friends for...maybe 8 or even 9 years now, but I still don't know some things about her. It's kind of sad I don't know her as well as I thought I did, but it's also fun to learn more about her.

Anyway, my basic point is that when I'm having fun blogging, everyone is happy. Now for an almost actual apology. I'm sorry that I just haven't really felt up to writing too much, and I genuinely feel this place suffered for it, and you didn't have to suffer along with me. I'm going to try to be more fun and open again.

But as we all know, you should never try. Trying is the first step towards failure.

Wednesday, 28 December 2011

New Year, New Me?

Yesterday was kind of an odd day for stats. I had the least views I've had on a weekday in a while, but I made the most money I've made in a while. Oh well. I think my viewership is either going down because of the holidays, or is becoming a more legitimate figure. Anyway, on with the real show for today.

It's a bit early to be talking about this but what the hell, I take any and all ideas I can get. A few nights ago I had a dream where one of the guys at the shop I volunteer at came up to me, and we made up over the fact I haven't been there in about a month, and I got a haircut, and I started anew. Most of you who know me will know one of two things, 1, I don't do displays of affection like that (except maybe hugs, I'm just not really a "I messed up, I'm sorry" kinda guy), and 2, I don't do haircuts. I got one a few years ago to shut my boss up because I was sick and tired of his constant comments about my hair. I realise now I should have punched him in the face because I liked my hair, it was the one part of me I was proud of. But before then it had been like, 6 years since I last had it cut. It wasn't too long, hair stops growing eventually, or just grows so incredibly slowly. It was just past halfway down my back. I got it cut to shoulder length and tried not to cry as I saw my beautiful hair die in front of my eyes.

As the people who read my 200th post also might know, I'm not much of a starting again guy either. I don't see the new year as a fresh start. Though this time I am actually slightly tempted. I mean, maybe I should get another hair cut, and maybe I should try starting again. Go to work more often. I used to be on about 20 hours a week, and then it was four a freakin fortnight, and then I just stopped going. I didn't really feel all that bad about it either. I also never explained to my boss just what the problem was. As far as he knows I'm just too lazy to come in. It's one of the things we fight about.

But the actual problem as most of you guys might have guessed is that I'm quite the shut in. I only ever go outside with my dad. The main reason I do this is not just because I don't want to be left in the house alone, I've proven I can handle that now, but because I want to get outside the house. I like the outside world, I'm just terrified of being alone in it. I probably should explain this to my boss but the last time I explained anything emotional about myself was when he locked me inside the shop with just him for half an hour. His boyfriend rescued me and I'm still sure he only did that because he thought I was getting freaky with the bossman. Fun times. But no that time was damaging to me. He's done a lot to make me mistrust him, but he still acts like he's not done a damn thing wrong. That's something that really pisses me off about him. But this isn't about him, or what he's done. This is about me, and what I need to do.

Next year (for it is still not the new year) I'm hoping to learn how to drive, and to really try and turn my life around. I think it's been more than long enough, and it is something I want. I want to lose weight, I want to drive, I want to get out more, I want a job (making enough money out of here will do though!), I wouldn't mind some love but I get all the love I need from Jessie and my family, but most of all, I want to be happy.

I don't think I want to be satisfied though, if I'm satisfied that means I have nothing to really go for anymore, life sucks if you have nothing you want out of it.

Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Out Of The Closet And Into The Fire

Since Jessie recently told her coming out story at her blog (that's http://theconstantinopleexpress.blogspot.com/ yes, I will plug that at pretty much every opportunity I can get, what can I say, I'm her bitch) I thought today I might share mine. Which was a lot simpler, and taken a lot better than hers. Like a lot better. But I'll let you read hers.

It was a few years ago and I was on holiday, it was the first day there so everyone was there. Normally when I go on holiday it's me, my dad, my brother, two of my nieces, one of my sisters, her boyfriend at the time, and the rest of her kids. Sister gets her own caravan though don't worry, we don't try and shove everyone in the same caravan. But today my mum had to bring down some people and so she decided to stay for a day trip.

My mum and my sister and some others were inside the caravan chatting, and somehow I think the subject of sexuality came up. I told you before, I have a very bad memory. I can't even really remember how me and Jessie met (again, another story up on her blog) and I always feel bad about that. So anyways, my sister asks me outright if I'm gay, or jokes that I am. I say to her "No actually, I'm bi" just in passing, incredibly nonchalantly.

There is a bit of silence, then she asks if I'm actually bi and I say I am. After that it just kind of got out. I had very understanding parents really. Plus I think being bi is slightly better (in coming out terms at least) than being gay. I'm basically saying "Hey I'd go for a guy too, but there's still a chance I could end up with a woman". I'm not totally sure how my parents would act though should I bring a boy home, but I know my sister would be cool. I'm not just saying that because she reads here occasionally, she is actually pretty cool. She's totally accepting of Jessie already too.

I also find it odd how I could come out to being bi so simply but I'm still not about to ever tell anyone I like a kids show in MLP. Then again I suppose if sis reads this I just technically did. BTW I know I've dropped that name a few times in the last few days, but at I'm not obsessing over it and I barely mention it, I just happen to have done so a little bit lately. It's always in context though. Always related.

You see I can say things in passing quite easy, but I'm not very good at all at actually saying them. I would never be able to say to my parents, or anyone for that matter "Hey, can I talk to you about something?". There is another story related to that which I might get onto some other time actually.

Monday, 26 December 2011

The Non-Boxing Boxing Round Up

Hey guys hope you had a good Christmas, and got some stuff you wanted. I'm still here so I'm guessing somebody didn't. Today is my the birthday of two of my nieces, I wasn't sure how old they are, and I'm still not, but I'm 80% sure that they are now 15 and 10. I could be wrong. Anyway, here's your round up for last week. Complete with gratuitous amounts of plugging, and general whoring.

On Tuesday I talked about how I'm actually kinda confident in my writing, in response to Anne questioning my confidence. While I might not have much confidence outside of writing, or much confidence to try and sell my writing (say through freelance journalism or some other system where you get paid to write) writing has become something I've become kind of confident in.

On Wednesday I paid tribute to a Twitter (Poor__Leno, that's two underscores folks) and Blogger (sauceattack.blogspot.com) friend of mine. He was without a computer but was still tweeting. I felt that A) people needed to see his writing, and B) he needed a break, and I wanted to do something nice for him. I mention his blog as well as his Twitter because after this post, and the comments made, he has indeed updated. He finds it a pain to update through his iPhone though or whatever i device he has.

On Thursday I celebrated the fact that I had finally written another chapter in my book. Although it was not as long as previously thought, and again I can only apologise for my moment of retardation. I also asked for a spot of advice on writing, and got some good answers. Yay.

Friday I plugged/advertised/whatever you want to call it the book "The Missing Link" by the boys of A Beer For The Shower. I am going to do so again here. Seriously, it's a great book, and it's cheap. Check it out. Hell its now EVEN CHEAPER than it was when I bought it(Amazon says it's free O_O That's no way to make money fellas.). I now wish I had waited, but eh. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B006NUAQNC is the link for Americanos and http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Missing-Link-ebook/dp/B006NUAQNC/ref=pd_rhf_ee_p_t_1 for me fellow British chums. Again, advertised as free. What the actual fuck? Anyway, hopefully they are actually giving it away and I'm not about to rob them of a lot of money.  MOVING ON.

Saturday I had another plug. Which will also be another plug again. This time for a good cause. Jessie, most of you who've read me a while may know that name, for she is my bestest of the bestest best friends evar, has started her own blog. The Constantinople Express. Some of you were very lovely and have followed her, but Saturday is a slow day for readers, so I'm appealing yet again. Please follow this fine young lady. If not for her, then for me, your lord and master.

Sunday (Which was Christmas of course) I just shared a bit of what happened with me at Christmas. Sadly no one did throw a punch (that I know of) so according to my tweet that it's not Christmas until someone throws a punch, I technically had no Christmas.

Anyway, now I think about it, it is still technically the holidays, so viewership may still be low. I'll have to find some other way to plug Jessie's blog at a later date.

I smell a guest post. Or maybe it's just the air freshener.

Sunday, 25 December 2011

Merry Christmas

And happy holidays to you all. This post is uber-late because mobile blogger didn't want to work, and I couldn't steal one of my nephews iPods for long enough. Mostly because I got the idea too late.

Anyway, another Christmas been and gone. Well for me anyway, when the turkey is eaten, and when I'm back home at my dads, that is when Christmas is over. Though is still the Dr Who Christmas special *squeeeeeeee*

I actually got more this year than I did last year, which is always nice. Not counting what I got from Jessie. I love her to bits but she gives me so much stuff I lose track of it all, so I can't totally remember what I got last year. But this year from her I have 7 (yes SEVEN) Dream Theater albums (this has nearly doubled the size of my music collection, you'll get that joke if you know DT), and 3 DVD's. I feel kind of bad that I only got her one CD, and she always splurges on me, but we both know if I had the money, I would splurge on her too. She's actually one of the few people I can accept gifts from.

I got some more DVD's from my mum, a Simpson's gift set (a mug and a keyring with a free hot chocolate and stuff to put in it) and a wooden puzzle from my sister, a tub of chocolates from my cousin I think she is, and some boxers and manly smelling things again, from my mum. Last year all I really got was deodorant, from everybody. All in all I got a good haul this year, but sadly not iPod 4th generation. It's an iPhone without the phone, it's perfect for me lol. But there is always birthdays for that. My other sister couldn't get me anything but it's understandable, she has kids to buy for and she had some trouble getting them everything.

I hope you guys got everything you wanted, or at least some of what you wanted, and I'll see you next time.

I also made chocolate chip cookies but only my mum and Jessie ate one :( But both of them said they were nice. So effectively I also got about 15-20 chocolate chip cookies for myself.

Wooooo!

Saturday, 24 December 2011

The Constantinople Express

I know I usually post a picture or something here, and while I did have one of those ready, something else happened. Instead, I will be doing more whoring of everything me. Seeing as she penned her first post using her name, I guess she doesn't mind if people know it's her, but my friend Jessie (well let's face it typically when I talk about a friend I'm talking about her) has started her own blog.

She actually started one the same time I did, way back when, but she never updated whereas I did. She just didn't have any direction I guess. Although I myself have forgotten just how most of my posts come about. I really don't remember. Anyway, this time she's back, and she's talking about her life as a transgendered person. She has some amazing life stories of her own anyway, as well as some of the crap that happens.

Ultimately, my point is, my friend started a blog, would you please follow her and show the same level of love you show me. Actually, more. Show her more love than you show me.

ALL WILL LOVE ME, AND DESPAIR!

I actually found a MLP shirt with that on, and while I would love it, I'm not quite ready to come out yet, so I can't buy it. Anyway, this isn't about me, or the things I weirdly love, it's about Jessie, and here is, at last, her link.

http://theconstantinopleexpress.blogspot.com/

Friday, 23 December 2011

The Missing Link

This post is part self whoring, general whoring, and Christmas present. I don't know what the ratios are either, so good luck. But first an apology. It turns out I'm retarded. Ish. I did some more writing in my book yesterday, mostly a little bit of rewriting here and there. It turns out I didn't write ten thousand words. I had written ten thousand characters (letters and what not). My book is on it's fourth chapter and currently contains nearly eight thousand words. I am less impressive than previously thought. I even did a typing test and discovered that if I typed non-stop, it would take me an estimated 3 hours to write 10k words. Obviously while writing a book, one cannot really do that.

Now, on with the show. The fabulous boys at A Beer For The Shower, Bryan and Brandon, have taken a big step on the road to be published authors...by becoming published authors. They may have actually reached the end of this road. They've now taken their first step on the long hard road of becoming SUCCESSFUL published authors.

This is where I come in. I don't have much influence, sure, but I have some. If someone else hasn't already gotten to you by now, then I am going to provide you with a link to the book on Amazon (http://www.amazon.com/The-Missing-Link-ebook/dp/B006NUAQNC/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1324303226&sr=1-1). I found it on Amazon.co.uk by searching for "The Missing Link Bryan" so it showed up. There are a lot of books called, or related to, "The missing link". Theirs is sadly low on the list. Though maybe with my review it will go up a little. I doubt it but you never know. A five star review can do wonders. At least it deserved it and I'm not affiliated with the product or it's competitors.

The book is insanely cheap at less than two dollars (and even less in GBP which is what I paid with), and it's easily worth it. Plus everyone loves helping out a little guy. I mean, come on, I'm a cheap, poor, bastard, and even I bought it. I don't regret it either. I have some problems with Kindle (at least Kindle for PC, I'm yet to have a Kindle) but the book itself is worth it. It's well written, it's funny, and best of all, it has homeless people! Angry, drunk, crazy homeless people. What more could you want? Seriously no one needs more than that.

As for why this is a Christmas present like I mentioned at the start, well I'm classing this as my Christmas present to the boys at A Beer For The Shower, plus I think it would make a nice Christmas present. That is, if you CAN gift something on a Kindle. Or should I say to a Kindle? Anyway, it's a good book, it's cheap, and it's worth more than they've asked for.

Check out their blog at least if you can't buy the book!

PS If I release an Ebook onto Kindle like this (if I work out how as well as get enough of a book down) then I will be back again, doing more self whoring than ever before. Look forward to it.

Thursday, 22 December 2011

About Damn Time

On Saturday, while I really should have been sleeping, I did something I hadn't done in absolutely ages. I'll give you a few seconds to guess as to what it might be.

Give up? Well whether or not you got it, I wrote some more of my book. After writing two posts for this place. I got a lot of writing done. I think I really don't like sleep sometimes. Well, it's true I suppose actually. I proved I would have kicked ass at NaNoWriMo, by writing over ten thousand words in an hour or two. Awww fuck yeah.

I really don't know why I put it off for so long, but it felt good to do it again, you know? It feels good to write. I know I've said this kind of stuff in several posts already, but you can let me get away with it one more time. You are my loyal readers. It does feel good though. I don't do many productive things, so I like the ones I do get done even more.

I wrote just one chapter, but like I said, over ten thousand words! In an hour and a half! I worked out how long it is because I put a Youtube playlist on that lasts an hour and a half on, and it started from the beginning again not long after I stopped writing. Plus it was an introduction to one of the main characters, and there was a lot of talking. If you haven't picked up from my short stories yet, I really don't like talking scenes much. I'm not sure on what the writing etiquette for them is. I know every time someone new starts talking you start a new paragraph, but do you have to keep saying who's talking? Let's say two people were talking (which happened a lot in this chapter), do I have to keep pointing out who said what? Here's an example;

"Hi there", One said.

"Hello", Two replied

"Lovely whether huh?" One asked.

"It sure is, you have any plans for the day?", responded Two

"Well I have to go to work, but after that I'm free, how about you?", said One.

"Pretty much the same, you want to hang out after work?" Said Two.

"Sounds like a plan." replied One, "I'll see you later then"

"See you", said Two, before walking off.

-------------------------------------------------------

"Hi there", One said.

"Hello", Two replied

"Lovely whether huh?" One asked.

"It sure is, you have any plans for the day?"

"Well I have to go to work, but after that I'm free, how about you?"

"Pretty much the same, you want to hang out after work?

"Sounds like a plan, I'll see you later then"

"See you", said Two, before walking off.

----------------------------------------

Which of those is accurate? I tend to stick to the second one. Just establish who is talking when, and then let the conversation happen, mostly because I hate repetition though, and hate overusing convesational words like "said", "replied", "asked", even synomyns like "enquired". Bah. Either way, my fingers and wrists are hurting, so I'll have to leave it that, plus this has dragged on. Once I start writing, it can get hard for me to stop!

A quick shout out though to the Beer For The Shower boys, the reason I held this off until today! Today is a day they read, and what with their book experience, I was hoping for their opinion. Though of course everyone's matters. Thursday is also just a busy day for me, like Monday.

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

A Tribute

A good online friend of mine, and the main reason I use Twitter, has been without a working computer for quite some time now. As such, even though runs a nice blog, it hasn't been updated. He has an iPhone, but he says that it's too annoying to post a full blog post from there. I've told him that if he writes something, I'll be happy to put it up here for him (same applies to you guys, you ever feel like doing a guest post, please feel free to contact me, or if for some reason you can't post), but he wouldn't take me up on the offer. Like I said, he finds it too annoying to write everything out. Can't really blame him. He is still pretty active on Twitter though, and we chat quite a fair bit on there. I thought the world needed more of his writing, so I'm taking a moment to copy what I did with my last Twitter post, and post some of his tweets. I hope I do his writing justice, and I also hope that if you have a Twitter account you'll follow him (That's @Poor__Leno, there are TWO underscores, don't make the same mistake I did) and if you do tell him I sent you. Though Hell he'll probably just read this here anyway. Either way, enjoy.











Tuesday, 20 December 2011

Confidently Posting About Confidence

While I have now taken to responding to comments in the comments instead of dedicating a post to them (that was a fun system, meant for another lazy day) occasionally one does come along that deserves it's own post. This is one such day. The comment in question was made by Anne on Saturday's post, in reaction to me yet again saying I was low on ideas.

"I've been reading you on and off for the past 2 weeks and you begin most posts with "This isn't going to be very good", "No one is reading/commening/followin" or "I'm out of ideas" I think these things are related. If as a writer you have no confidence and no ideas, it's time to stop for a while. I'm taking time off to go home to Ireland and I know it won't hurt my page. My readers will be here when I get back and I'll be fresh and have new ideas. Take a break, followers don't mean anything in the end, it's readers that matter."


My response was basically that I meant more that I was running out of pictures to post, so would need either more, or to post something else, and that I agreed that readers matter more. But I also said that I don't have confidence in much I do. If you know me, you'll know this to be true. But over time, while writing here, writing has become something I have become confident in. When I was at school while I was well spoken and had a big vocabulary, I wasn't very good at creative writing. If you had told me then that I would run a blog and post several short stories that receive almost nothing but positive criticism, I may have laughed. 


This post is basically becoming the same as my 200th post, but it's still slightly different. I have managed to gain some confidence in my writing, and hey maybe I can make writing work for me. Part of me wants to compile my short stories into an ebook. Though I'm going to need more of them, so keep the ideas coming people!


As for not posting every day, or taking a break. Well, while the world may not end if I stop posting, it might, and I cannot take that risk. I just can't. There is an impossibly small (but still there) chance that God is not smashing everything because he reads here, and as such he knows that the world has to keep going, so that I may keep writing. I must continue as I am, for if I do not, not only will he lose interest, but he'll go all vengeful God on my ass. That won't be cool.


Now who says I lack confidence?

Monday, 19 December 2011

This Round's On Me

Well, it's Monday, so you know what that means. I'm going to be a lazy shit and just tell you what I did last week. For the benefit of those who don't visit every day, and for me actually because I forget what I do five minutes ago, never mind five days ago, here is a round up.

Tuesday was a post about masculinity. Specifically how masculine I might really be, and what makes a man in the first place. Just what IS masculine? Short answer, no one fits into every stereotype associated with them, but I'm still not that much closer to understanding why people would say I'm masculine.

Wednesday was a little different. With a lot of help from Bersercules I was able to do another video interview, this time with him. He personally animated me, and so I'm not creepy this time! Well, creepier than I normally am. Worth it just for the extra Bersercules in your day.

Thursday I finally got round to writing that story Fang asked me to. A short story about something creepy with 616 words (666 was the original offer). I make no claims of actual creepiness though. I think my original creepy story I posted way back when was creepier, but I prefer this one as an actual story.

Friday Was my long anticipated (by me at least) 200th post spectacular. I highly recommend reading it, in typical me fashion, it's more than a simple "Hey guys I hit 200 posts. Awesome". It's about what I'm proud of, and what my resolutions for the new year are. Barely anyone read or commented though because of a scheduling error. I accidentally put it up one day early, and when I put it up again at the right time, it was still scheduled for the last day. I took it down, again, set the schedule to automatic (thanks to some advice from Henry) and re-re-uploaded it, but still not many saw it. Ah well.

Satuday I shared some of what is known as Conspiracy Keanu. It's Keanu Reeves with a "Whoa, dude, whoa" look on his face, with possible conspiracy theories. Ranging from mind blowing to outright outrageous. Maybe you'll get a laugh or two.

Sunday I got round to posting some Frankie Boyle like I said I would last week, before Wolverine got in the way. I need to be careful saying his name or I'll be tempted to just keep posting about him.
Damnit I knew it would happen. I'd so hit that.
There are some good things coming up this week (I think). So enjoy your week, and I hope you enjoyed your weekend!

Sunday, 18 December 2011

Not Live At The Apollo

So last week I was going to post some of Frankie Boyle's comedy to see how it contrasted to Jimmy Carr, but then Wolverine got in the way. No one really minded. It's Wolverine. He's just awesome. Anyway, before I cop out again and post more of Wolverine being badass, here IS a video of Frankie Boyle. It gets funnier (and darker too) the longer it goes on, so stick with it. Like Jimmy, he was only truly dark in his live shows, but this will have to do. Enjoy!

Saturday, 17 December 2011

Conspiracy? Probably Not

So yesterday was my big 200th post celebration. However, thanks to a mishap involving scheduling (pointed out by Henry, thank you again for that!) barely anyone commented, or actually read it for that matter. Ah well. Anyway, for a picture post today I present to you Conspiracy Keanu. Basically Keanu Reeves looking  all perplexed with possible conspiracy theories as the text. To be honest yes I am running low on ideas for this stuff. Some of these are incredibly stupid, and some are actually brilliantly thought out. Sadly I don't have many for them so you'll have to make do with what you're given. 






Friday, 16 December 2011

Terrible 200's

My apologies to JOutlaw who was the only person to comment on this one, but I put this up a day early. Looking at things again, TODAY should be, really really should be, the 200th post.

If I've done my maths right (and it turns out I didn't and have no idea why) this is my 200th post. Boy we've come a long way here. From not knowing if I'd update more than once a week, to randomly reviewing old TV shows when no one was reading, to adopting the post a day system and somehow sticking to it. All in the space of just six months, and 200 posts.

To be honest it does feel like a lot longer, both post wise and time wise. I know everyone says it, but I really never imagined I would get this far, go this long, I really didn't. Can you imagine how I'm going to be when my little baby blog turns one? Assuming it happens of course.

I would have liked to have done something special for the big 2-0-0 but I couldn't really think of anything. I had  a conversation with Jessie though in which she asked me what I'm proud of this year, and what my resolutions for next year were, so I thought I would go into them a bit, share some things with you guys.

You can stop reading now if you want.

I'm not too big on the whole resolution thing. For me, the days just roll together, and I don't see any day as different from any other. Once the presents have been handed out, and dinner has been served, and I'm back at my dads, Christmas is just any other day. I haven't celebrated a birthday properly in some time, and again it's just the same system. Once I have presents, that's it, it's just a normal day. Though for my last few birthdays I've spent them with Jessie, which is nice. She gave me a fuckton of shit on my 21st. I'm not kidding about how much it was either.

So yeah, I don't really do the whole resolution thing. I don't see the new year as the new start that other people do. I don't see anything special about it. It's probably not good to be this pessimistic and cynical but I'm still alive, so something is working. Or my enemies can't find me.

There is still the matter though of what I'm proud of. I can't really remember much about the first half of the year, so I'm going to have to say this place. I've been able to amass a somewhat small but still there following, I've been working hard and I can say it's paid off. Even if I did some things this year I'm not happy I did, such as not going to college after all, I can say I'm happy I put the effort into this place, I'm glad that I worked at something for this long. I dedicated myself, and I don't do that much, if at all. It's why I get nothing done. I have no dedication, no motivation. I have nothing.

I'd like to say that this place isn't the only thing I'm proud to have done this year, but really I don't think I've overcome any of the other major obstacles in my life, though hey, there's still a few weeks left to get that done. Or maybe I could see the new year as a new start. Start bending life over a table and making it my bitch.

Either way I wrote this at quarter past one in the morning, which explains a great deal of it. Here's to another 100, and the fifty something more that will make a full year.

Thursday, 15 December 2011

Another Short Story

Okay it took way to long, but here, at last, is the short story I said I would write for Fang. He originally asked for a 666 word story about something creepy. Me, being anal, said I would write a 616 word story, as this is the actual number of the beast. At least as far as I know. Now, I don't know why I put it off for so long, but part of it was that I just couldn't really come up with anything creepy. Not a horror fan myself despite all the times I've stayed up until 3 or 4AM reading scary stories, then proceeding to not want to sleep. It's hard to write about something you can't get behind. Anyway, enough stalling, here's your story. I wrote it out in 20 minutes (over Twitter Fang assured me this was nothing special) so I make no claims on quality, or actual creepiness.


“Come on, hurry up” Sam yelled to Max, not stopping on his way to a cave he spotted a few days ago and was keen to explore.

“I'm coming” replied an exasperated Max, running out of breath.

Eventually though they both made it there. Pulling out their torches, they carefully made their way inside, shining the lights about. Sam was disappointed that it seemed to be just a regular cave, deep enough for there to be a dark part, but it didn't get much deeper than that.

Max relaxed against a wall of the cave, catching his breath and relaxing because there was nothing there.

“There's nothing here”, He said. “Can we head back now?”.

Sam sighed and sat on the ground.

“I was so sure there was more to this place...” he started before laying on his back.

He felt something move under his head and sat up gasping, and heard a low rumbling.

“The wall's moving!”, Max shouted, moving besides Sam.

Sam shushed him, and moved his torch around the walls. They were indeed moving. He looked at the entrance and couldn't see it any more, and realise it wasn't the walls that were moving, it was the floor.

He tried to keep a brave face up for Max, but he knew he was scared too.

After a minute or two the floor stopped, although the rumbling was still going on. They saw a new path they could go down. With little choice they decided to go down it.

Max was keeping as close to Sam as he could. The path was fairly straight with no split paths at all. They were starting to think it wasn't naturally made at all, and wondered what they were going to find at the end.

They came to an opening at last, and saw something they never thought they would. It was an underground spring, and even more amazingly, they saw grass and trees, it was like an underground forest, but they noticed there were no animals in sight.

The rumbling was still there, and it seemed louder now. Sam climbed a tree to see what he could see, if there was anything noteworthy. After he climbed up he had a look around, but couldn't really see anything but a high ledge with what looked another cavern, but he couldn't make out what was there.

They went to have a look where the ledge was and saw that they could climb the wall. Max decided to stay at the bottom though, where he felt safe. Sam left him be and climbed up.

A few minutes later Max heard a loud scream followed shortly by a roar before both were silenced almost as quickly as they started. Max ran off the way he came, screaming himself. He heard another roar and looked behind him to see something huge, scaly and red looking at him. He thought it was a dragon, but he didn't want to believe it. He just kept running as fast as he could back to where they started, and searched frantically for whatever it was that made the floor move so he could escape.

He heard what seemed to be laughter following him, as the dragon took slow, deliberate steps towards him. When it reached him, it swallowed him whole in one gulp. When it was in the middle where Sam and Max first came down, it spread it's wings and flew up. It knew that once you were down, there was no way back up unless you could fly, and it had been too long since it had last had a good meal, and flew under the sun.

--------------------------

It just hit me this is actually the second creepy story I've written.

Edit I noticed a mistake and corrected it, the word count is exactly the same.

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

The Bersercules Invasion

Hi, I'm Bersercules, The Beserk Herc. Well, no I'm not actually, but I am in a video with him. He animated me personally so if you think my avatar is creepy this time, then he's to blame, not me! Also a serious apology for my performance in this video. I don't really like it, but it's an interview, no sense in redoing it. I was having a bad day when I recorded it and I just did it because I had held it off too long. Anyway, now I've set you up for disappointment, enjoy the show!

For those of you who for some reason seriously do not know Bersercules does video reviews of shows, and occasionally a TV/very old movie. He's seriously funny (which hopefully you picked up on with this video) and always worth a watch. He puts in the fine little touches that make things good, and he's very dedicated to what he does.

Here's hoping this isn't the only video project we do together, but really I have no ideas for other videos.

Anyway, I've wasted enough of your time for one day.

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Masculinity And Me

The other day (I'm using "the other day" in the sense Ed Byrne does. It could be any time between yesterday, and the end of time) I was called masculine by Jessie. Now, she knows me better than I know myself, she really does, but I've never considered myself all that masculine. Really, what IS masculine? What defines a man? Defining a man is a lot safer than defining a woman, which gets you called sexist, but that's a matter I've already covered.

Here are some things that really "define a man";

A lack of emotion or an unwillingness to show it; Okay I'll admit I have this. I only cry unless I'm seriously pushed, or very upset. I don't talk about my feelings at all, but I don't talk about much out loud. The main way Jessie knows so much about me is that we talk online a lot. I'm willing to write a lot more than I'm willing to say. I've been fairly open in this blog but I'd be nowhere near like this IRL. Is this masculine though? I don't see it that much. I see it more as a fear of ridicule or being hurt. Fair enough, the main reason guys never share their feelings IS a fear of ridicule, but I never hang out with guys anyway. I have nothing to fear from a load of guys calling me a woman.

Glorifying of violence/aggression; I can kind of do this, but only in games and movies. I want to be able to fight myself sure, but only for protection, it's not like I'm going to go round punching people. Though I've said before that "I don't start fights because I know I'll never win." I do try to use words to sort things out when I can. Again, not totally masculine there.

Loving sports; Nope. Hate 'em. Though I am willing to watch football to spend time with my brother. Though that IS masculine. Pretending to like sports. Women make eachother suffer emotionally by destroying them, we make other guys pretend to like sports.

Bravery/courage; Well, I have it deep down. There is nothing I will not do for someone I care about if pushed. But to talk much more would be incredibly mushy. Suffice to say I do have bravery down there somewhere, and it could do with making some more appearances.

Lack of care about appearance/slobbish behaviour; Okay I have myself this. I shave maybe once every two months, but I barely grow facial hair either. I don't take much care of myself because I don't really have much pride in my appearance, I don't like too much how I look.

One thing you may or may not have noticed about me is that I do downplay my masculinity, and overhype my femininity. Hell I did it a lot in this post. This post is about doing that. I'm not really sure why I do, I just do. Maybe it is because I barely interact with guys. Maybe I am masculine, maybe not. I do know though that I'm pretty sure I'm not transgender. I know people who are and to say I am would feel like an insult to them, I know I'm not like them. I mean that in an as least offensive as possible way.

How about you guys? What do you think makes a man?

Monday, 12 December 2011

Last Week From Tuesday

I don't get why I feel the need to come up with an original title for each round up post but oh well. Anyway, here's your round up for last week, as you may have guessed.

On Tuesday I talked about people who change their name, and why I wouldn't do it. I also shared the very deep line of "Even if my parents chose my name at a whim it was the second gift they ever gave me, after life, and I'm in no hurry to give either up".

Wednesday I came up with an idea for how to get new followers, and to say hi to the current new ones. I basically just asked people to recommend blogs for me to check out.

Thursday I talked about what super powers I would have, in response to a post made by Lex from the Lexical gap. This post contains Wolverine

Friday Was about my shock at having cleaned up, and about how I was in my usual depressed as fuck state. I do one of those posts every few weeks or so, so you know what to expect by now lol.

Saturday Was as usual a bunch of pictures, this time ones I had taken myself with my Blackberry. This resulted in a lot of kitties and cuteness.

Sunday Was Wolverine;The Musical. One of the greatest movies ever made, and despite being about four minutes long, one of the greatest musicals ever made.

Hope you enjoyed the week, and I think there's some good things coming up this week.

Sunday, 11 December 2011

Wolverine;The Musical

I was going to share some of Frankie Boyle so that you could compare it to Jimmy Carr, but I mentioned Wolverine earlier this week, and that means I HAVE to share this. This is by far the greatest Wolverine movie ever, and I'm still waiting for it to be real. We have a Batman musical, a Spiderman musical, we NEED a Wolverine musical. Specifically this one. God it's awesome.

Saturday, 10 December 2011

Scenes From A Blackberry

I don't know if I've mentioned it before now, but I was given a Blackberry as an early Christmas present. If you want to know why I chose a BB over an iPhone it's because I need a Blackberry for BBM so that me and Jesse can basically talk as much as we want for a month, because it costs £5 (somehow now £5.30) a month. But given how much we can talk, it costs more than this. When I was on holiday most of the money I spent was on phone credit and beer. Anyway, this thing, even though it's an old one, still has a nifty camera, and my laptop has bluetooth, so I thought I would share some of the pictures I have taken with it.

Warning; Contains kitties of varying cuteness

Garfield sleeping (well not in this picture but he did sleep) in a computer bag

I got bored at a CafĂ© and made this. I would have stacked more but I would have felt odd getting more. It was surprisingly sturdy too. 
Kadie in her cat bed. She looks very condescending here. Maybe she could read the price on the tag.

I got proof that she will in fact come inside when the weather is too cold. Here she is, at 1AM, in my BATHTUB. She also pulled the towels down herself.

I couldn't resist this. Even cats like computers.

I just thought having one on either side of the glass looked pretty cool. Yes I'm aware my backyard is a mess. Work in progress.
And as a special treat for Hazel, the blue dragon that guards my bookcase up close. It reminded me so much of Malygos from Warcraft that I just had to get it. Plus I freakin love dragons.

Friday, 9 December 2011

I Can't Believe I Did That

Yesterday marked a pretty odd day in my life. I cleaned up. Voluntarily. I even tried to do a good job and hoover/vacuum up, but the thing wasn't working right so I couldn't :( I don't clean up all that much. I'm not very good at it, and I see most tasks as daunting and things I shouldn't try, especially cleaning. We recently got the house under control, and even though there is a lot of work left to do still, most of it was cleaned. But the memory of how bad it was is still fresh, so even though it's not a lot of mess, I still see it as it was.

By the end, I was worn out, but I did a good job, so that made me feel good. I had done something productive, something worth doing. I've been having trouble with that lately. I've been pretty depressed, and my writing has suffered because of it. Really I'm glad I only put any actual effort in four days a week what with Saturdays, Sundays and Mondays requiring little effort, but even so, it's getting bad.

I used to be able to just keep writing posts and I'd never run out, but eventually I did. Last week I was able to write enough to keep me going until today actually, that was a pretty good day for me. I don't know really what's wrong. Maybe reading a lot of other blogs is getting on top of me, but I don't think so, I don't read all that many. I read maybe 20 updates a day, it's not that much.

All I really know is that my writing is suffering and I'm in a doozy of a funk. I haven't even written that short story Fang asked me to, or even written anything new in my book. Still.

Gah.

Every time I get like this though, every time I think about changing the update schedule or anything, I suddenly get an influx of good ideas. Here's hoping it happens again. Either way it's Friday so I get to be lazy for a bit. Maybe that'll help.

Thursday, 8 December 2011

Super Blogger

This is kind of late, but recently Lex made a post where she decided upon a super hero version of herself, and then tagged many other Bloggers, telling asking them to do the same, and it's took me long enough to get around it.

If you ask me what superpower I would love to have, I would really be stumped, so please don't. But I can never really decide, but if I had to say one, I would say mastery over time and space, like Hiro from Heroes. But that power is wayyyyyyyy to OP and God-mode. You could just freeze time, teleport behind your enemy and kill them before they've even finished blinking.

Wait heroes don't kill do they? No they just lock them in jail where they stew and get more insane, or lock them in some weird ass dimension thing and send them off into space. That was a reference to that Superman movie where he does that, but I want to point out I don't think I've seen that movie.

Anyway, so, what less than God-mode powers would I choose then? I would have to say superhuman senses. My sense of sight, hearing and smell would perform at beyond human capability. Think Wolverine. Despite the fact he doesn't shoot cool shit from his hands he is very hard to defeat, even without adamantium on his bones. The guy survived for over 200 years (I think) before that happened to him. Most of this was down to his healing factor sure, but his super senses certainly helped. You don't want to get on the bad side of that guy or he'll add you to his list of shit he wants to fuck up today, and you don't want to be on that list.

Mentioning Wolverine gives me a chance to use this image
Now everyone knows that it's not really about the powers, it's about the badass costumes. Lex asked for pictures too but I suck at drawing, so I can't provide one. But my costume would of course be black. Complete with hood, mask that covers the entire face, and a cape. If I had the balls I would wear a hooded cloak in public, I really would.
Kinda like this, the Nightingale Armour from Skyrim
Not exactly the same as that mind, that's just how I imagine the mask and cape. I'd need a utility belt of course, complete with shark repellent spray that makes sharks explode. I would have a lot of Batman-esque gadgets though.

Basically I would be Batman but with superhuman senses. It's kind of sad to write out all of this and then be able to sum it all up in one sentence. As for my badass superhero name? I'm incredibly unimaginative and can't think of one.

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

New Followers

This might be potentially a small post, but every time I've said that, it lasts very long. It's like telling myself it's going to be short makes me want to make it very long.

The point of today's post is two-fold. The first is to say that I'm trying to get myself some more followers, and I think I've got some, which makes me pretty happy yay. So I'm saying hello and welcome to any and all new followers, and the old ones too I guess. Pull up a chair, light a cigar, and grab some whiskey, and enjoy your seat in front of the fire. Terms and conditions apply. chair, cigar, whiskey and fire not included.


The other point is that I'd still like to get some more. One could always do with more followers. My readers have gone down, though no one has explicitly stopped following. I was comfortable with my following, and I did have a surprisingly dedicated one, but people stop blogging or following for whatever reasons.

Rather than ask you to get me followers (though feel free to do this) I'm going to do something different. I'm going to ask you to recommend some blogs. It's common courtesy on Blogger to follow back, or at least check out, people who follow and comment on your blog. That's really how I got most of my followers. As such, if there are some blogs that you think I would like, or just think need more love, then let me know and I'll check them out, and together we can make me a more powerful force than ever before.

That can only be a good thing.

Tuesday, 6 December 2011

What's In A Name?

I personally know at least one person who has changed her name from what she was born with. A lot of people do it, either because they don't like the name they were born with, because they want to be famous, because they've achieved fame, or maybe just because they want to.

I got to talking to her and we were trying to decide on a new name for her because she's going to have to change it again (long story that isn't mine to tell) and she asked me if I would ever change my name. The simple and short answer is a no.

The long answer I gave her though was "I don't think I would because even if my parents chose it on a whim after they found out I wasn't a girl, was the second gift they gave me, the first being life. I'm not in a hurry to throw either away."

Damn I'm deep.

I've got no problem at all with people changing their name, but I just don't think I would ever do it. Besides, I've got no imagination, I doubt I'd be able to come up with another one. I wouldn't even be able to name my own children or pets. If I have kids naming it is the momma's problem. If I wanted to use every name I want to use, then I'd need have enough children to single handedly make overpopulation a real crisis.

Incase you're wondering what I meant earlier, basically when I was scanned in ma's tummy the doctors decided I was a girl. I'm told they bought dresses and gave me a pink room and just went the whole nine yards folks do when they find out I'm getting a girl. Then when I'm born the doctors realise their mistakes. Looking at my birth certificate reveals I wasn't actually registered for a month or so.

Some people still question if the doctors were actually right. I am one of them.

Also in case you didn't notice I went ahead and made the blog wider, to better accomadate pictures and what not. Though now everything is leaning slightly to the left. If someone could help me fix that I'd be pretty grateful. Also please note that posts are still just as long as ever, it's just that with more room they look shorter.

Totally not overcompensating.

Monday, 5 December 2011

The Week Of The 29th To The 4th

Wow, today I only woke up to four emails, and two of them were two separate comments for here that didn't get grouped together for some reason. That's the lowest I've woken up to in a while. But I am used to waking up a little later than this, after most of the spam. Anyway, here's your weekly round up of well, last week. Enjoy!

Tuesday Was about how there had been a victory for the internet as the EU declared that an ISP was NOT responsible for what it's users did with their connection and were not allowed to filter copyrighted material. This was a very good day in the fight against the evil dickery that is internet censorship. Seriously, you complain that other countries, like China, have it, don't let it happen to your country too.

Wednesday I asked for some help with one of my cats who insists staying out in the cold weather. In the end I got her a cat bed, she seems to like it. Now I just need to sort out my own bedroom window so I don't wake up with pneumonia.

Thursday I talked about the comedian Jimmy Carr, and how he has landed himself into trouble by making a joke that's implied to be about disabled children. He defended his actions, saying that disabled people are normal like everyone else. I wholeheartedly agree. In comedy, nothing is sacred, and everything is permitted. This is how it should be at least. Read the post for the full rant, I'll spare you from having to read it here.

Friday I tried to talk about the "evil" of internet piracy, and how it's actually not that evil, but seeing how Generally Disgruntled made a more reasoned out argument than I did, I'm not sure how well I did at that.

Saturday Was pictures of, or related to, Skyrim. I'm cosidering trying to extend the width of the blog post area to accommodate pictures. Please note if I do, the posts aren't getting smaller they just look it. I'm totally not overcompensating.

Sunday I posted a video of Jimmy Carr's most offensive joke routine, in which he hoped to find the most offensive joke. Most, if not all commenters agreed it's not that offensive really.

Well, there you have it. Another week down, another to go.

Sunday, 4 December 2011

Most Offensive Joke

Since most of you expressed a desire to see Jimmy Carr I thought todays comedy post should be a Jimmy Carr one. This is his routine on the most offensive joke possible. It also has a good explanation of being offended. I have to say DO NOT WATCH THIS IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED. Seriously, he makes jokes about the Twin Towers, disabilities, abortions and sex. It also contains a whole lot of swearing. I warned you.


Oh and if you're wondering about the Alzheimers joke he said at the end, he said that earlier in the show, and it was basically an injoke.

Saturday, 3 December 2011

The Screens Of Skyrim

I was going to call this post "Rimming The Sky" then I realised the horrific sexual implications because I have an incredibly dirty mind. In following on picture posts I'm going to post some Skyrim related pictures. The game is, graphically, quite amazing. Certainly very different from Oblivion, which itself was different from Morrowind. Enjoy the awesome wonderousness.

Sorry, couldn't resist

Dovahkiln actually means Dragonborn (what the main character is)

An acutal screenshot that I really loved

Flying horses are one of the glitches people have found

Some stunning graphics
Sorry that, once again, the right sidebar is ruining the pictures -_-

Friday, 2 December 2011

Yo Ho Ho And A Bottle Of Rum

If it wasn't totally obvious the title for today's post is a reference to pirates and piracy. Sadly not the swashbuckling or airship variety (I will be one of those one day, just you wait) or the Somali variety, but the internet variety.

I've talked before about piracy, and probably will again. Just a few days ago I talked about how the internet had a victory in the EU, and the evils of internet censorship, but today I'm going to go a bit more into piracy. Now, a lot of things get pirated, music, games, even books. Usually when music gets pirated, the evil record companies kick up a shit storm, and a shit storm is also kicked up when games are pirated. I'm not too sure about books, I doubt people really see it as piracy I guess.

There are actually some artists with a lax attitude towards piracy. One of these is William Control. When he found out that an album of his had been leaked online before he released it, he just told people to "Download it and dance". He was happy that his music was being heard, and his fans love the hell out of him because they'll buy anything of his they can to support him. With his new EP he actually also sent people who bought it a download link to download free copies of it, he's just opening himself up to piracy. But he's small time, so he can love that he's getting his name out there. Abney Park are another example, when you buy their stuff you can download it an unlimited number of times, at least I think you can.

There are dicks of course, like Lars Ulrich and Gene Simmons. I'm not saying people should pirate, and I do think people have a legitimate gripe when their stuff is being "stolen", but I think no matter what you do, piracy will always be there, you can't fight it. When you try your hardest to fight it, like having games you can only install five times (WHAT THE FUCK?!??!?? Who thought of that bullshit) all you do is piss off the people that were willing to pay. I don't want to play RAGE, no matter how good it is, because of it's DRM, I don't want to play Diablo 3 because of it's DRM. The more restrictions you put on things, the more you piss people off.

Seriously, fucking stop. Stop trying to fight piracy, and you'll save money, you can release things for cheaper prices, more people will legitimately buy them, and if you make things good, then people who pirate them will buy them anyway. There are people who will download a game, and if they like it, buy an actual copy.

Besides, I think most of a bands income comes from merchandising and tour tickets, not sales. If you make good stuff, and the fans love you, they will buy your merch, and come see you live, and line your pockets with your dirty money.

I am not in any way shape or form endorsing piracy, please don't take my blog away from me, or tell the courts I told you to do it.

Thursday, 1 December 2011

Noting Is Sacred, Everything Is Permitted

Might be a slightly misleading title, but bear with me and you'll get it. There's a comedian here called Jimmy Carr (boy I hope you know who he is) and he's gotten into trouble. Again. He's a very very dark comedian. Absolutely nothing is sacred to him, he's joked about disability, cancer, rape, you name it he's probably made a joke about it. This particular time he's been in trouble for making the joke "Why do they call them sunshine variety buses when all the kids look the fucking same?". I trust you it'd be funnier if he said it, he's deadpan, he can anything with a straight face, an he's a God of joke delivery.

I say this is again because a few years ago he was in trouble for making a joke about the soldiers coming back from the war maimed and missing limbs and how it means we're going to have a great paralympics team. Now, again, bad taste, BUT actual maimed soldiers in the audience were pissing themselves with laughter. They found it funny and other people found it offensive for them.

Jimmy has defended himself by saying that it's fine to take the mick out of disabled people because THEY ARE NORMAL TOO. This is the absolute truth. When it comes to comedy, nothing is sacred, and everything is permitted (See told you the title would make sense). At least, that's how it should work.

These jokes were made at live shows, not on TV, so it's not like our children were subjected to this. If you pay to go to a comedians show you know what you should expect. You don't go to a Jimmy Carr gig to see him make family friendly jokes, you know he's going to stab the line and kick it in its balls. A comedian should be allowed to say anything they want at a live show and on DVD's there is deleted content that a comedian or the DVD maker knows that the joke would be too bad, and I think comedians will usually make their routine safe for an audience.

I personally love Jimmy Carr, he's great at one liners, and has made a two word joke. "Dwarf shortage" (like I said, it's funnier when he says it). He made this after making a four word joke the tour before "Venison's dear, isn't it?" (dear means expensive just in case you didn't know, and Venison is Deer).

Nothing is sacred and everything is permitted, and if you are paying a lot of money to go to a comedy show, go see someone who you know you'll like. You go to Jimmy Carr to have your morals tested, and to be reaffirmed that he has no morals. People draw comparisons between Jimmy Carr and Frankie Boyle, but this just isn't fair, Jimmy Carr is a lot funnier, and doesn't just attack people all the time. If you like dark humour, and have few morals, I do recommend checking Jimmy Carr out.

Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Halp Me

I'm not sure how many of you own cats, or know anything about cats. I do know that some of you (Fang) don't like cats much and prefer dogs. But that's another topic, one we were going to discuss together (I'm still up for that!).

I come to you seeking help, and I'd rather ask people who are less likely to laugh at me and call me retarded than say, the people at Yahoo Answers. Who do laugh at you, and act like you're retarded. Though a lot of their users either are or just ask, retarded questions. I wonder how many times I'm going to say retarded.

ANYWAY. The problem is that one of my cats, the lady one, called Kadie, doesn't like staying indoors. I don't mind this too much, but the weather is getting colder, and while she has a little hidey hole in the backyard that might prevent her from getting too windy, I don't think it protects her much from the cold, and things will be worse when there's snow.

Is there any way I can try and encourage her to stay inside? I tried to lock the catflap when she lost her collar. She actually lost two in two days. We still don't know how, but this one is staying on. But she broke through it, if I didn't want her to stay inside so much I'd be impressed. Screw it I am impressed.

So, is there a way to encourage her to stay inside? Or should I just give up and try and put a nice warm cat bed in her hidey hole? Will messing with her spot make her want to abandon it for that matter?

This is the cat in question, note the lack of thick fur for fighting cold

Tuesday, 29 November 2011

A Victory For The Internet

I never ever thought I would say this, but way to go EU! The EU (European Union) has ruled that a web piracy filter would infringe upon peoples rights, potentially block legal content, and breaks something called the "E-Commerce Directive".


About seven years ago, some rights holders complained, and at the time, were awarded with an injunction that said that an ISP called Scarlet had to filter content so that their content was not pirated. At that time the ISP complained that this injunction was against EU law, and now, the EU has finally agreed. 


"Such an injunction could potentially undermine freedom of information since that system might not distinguish adequately between unlawful content and lawful content with the result that its introduction could lead to the blocking of lawful communications," the court said in a statement.


Right now in the UK, BT and TalkTalk (two of our ISP's, BT is mine as I've mentioned before) are currently in a fight themselves against the Digital Economy Act, which also lays out laws for fighting piracy. While the two cases are similar, the head of TalkTalks's regulatory affairs says that while this old case is relevant, the two are not directly linked. So I guess they won't be citing precedent. 


Either way though, this is a huge victory for internet freedom. I still have no idea how that piece of crap in America is going, all I can say is stop censorship now, and quote Zach Weiner. It works two ways, while the government may say that if we're doing nothing wrong, we have nothing to fear from government censorship, if THEY are doing nothing wrong, they have nothing to fear from free speech.






As per usual I got this from BBC News and the full article is here :http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-15871961

Monday, 28 November 2011

Round Up For 21-27

Damn I've been lazy lately, I've not got any posts ready, and I really hope I can change that and get some written. Anyway, for now, I can be lazy again and just stick to doing a round up post. See they help me as well as help you. First though I was kinda sad at my lack of views and comments over the end of the week, but hey, it was Thanksgiving, so I can kind of understand. Anyway, let's get started with Tuesday,

Tuesday Was about how I finally got my provisional driver's license, and how I managed to use a car for a few seconds. I'm not getting lessons yet but for now I can be proud that I managed to stall a car five times before moving it a few feet. Did I say proud? Is that really the right word?

Wednesday was a link to the tutorial on energy saving mode, and how to apply it. It was also a short discussion about a news article concerning gaming, and how gamers tend to have a larger "reward hub" as they put it, in the brain. I made a point of talking about this because the science-y folksters said that they didn't know if gaming caused this, or if this caused gaming, which pleased me. They didn't instantly demonize gaming.

Thursday  Was an award post after I got an award called the "I am thankful for you award" and I gave an acceptance speech about what I myself am thankful about. I didn't learn it was actually Thanksgiving that day until later oddly enough. Me and Bersercules also had a hell of a chat in the comments section.

On Friday I posed the question of if a bad person can be considered good as well. If a bad situation ultimately results in a good outcome, was it a bad situation? I thought to apply this logic to people. In the end we decided that while good can outshine bad and people can be redeemed, there are some acts that can't really be counterbalanced, and also that we shouldn't be judging people anyway. We shouldn't see them as good or bad, just as people. Also of course, that the evil of men lives on. No matter how good you were, you will be remembered for that one bad deed you did, and the truly good are forgotten long before the truly evil are.

Saturday I shared some more pictures. This time of alternative art. Things being re-imagined in other styles. Mostly Mario ones, which I didn't really realise until after I had made the post. In my defence I had had 3 hours sleep.

Sunday I posted another sketch by Fry and Laurie, and in the comments Fang gave me another writing challenge. A story about something diabolical that is 666 words long. I don't mind doing this but the pedantic in me has to make it 616 words, the actual number of the beast.

Well that's it folks, another week down, and (hopefully if I can get to writing) another week to come.

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